‘I discovered knickers and condoms in my man’s automobile – he blamed them on a prank’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a bewildered Daily Star reader who struggles to believe a word her man says

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

He’s a pranker

I recently found knickers and condoms on the backseat of my boyfriend’s car. I stretched back, scooped them up and screamed: “What the heck?”

Even though he was driving, he snatched them out of my hand and threw them out the window.

He kept saying; “It’s not what you think”. Once he’d parked up, he claimed that the items had been put there by his colleagues as a wind up, a prank.

He then turned the tables and started accusing me of having a dirty mind and not trusting him. Now we’re at loggerheads. I’m convinced he’s meeting streetwalkers for sex again although he swears, he’s not. Is he taking me for an idiot? For the sake of clarity – the panties were not mine…

JANE SAYS: If your guy has a history of paying sex workers for their services, then you need to trust your instincts. Sadly, if you suspect that he’s up to his old tricks again, then you need to tell him ‘goodbye’. Good for him for practicing safe sex and using condoms, but you cannot stay with someone who lies and abuses your trust. Pretending that the pants and condoms were placed there by playful colleagues was an insult. He needs to realise that you’re not stupid.

Set him free so that he can indulge in whatever kind of sex rocks his boat. Get your sexual health checked out. Don’t ever allow anyone to tell you that you’re a nuisance simply for questioning ‘why?’

Bad blood

My mother can’t stand my children.

She openly tells me that she loves me but can’t abide my daughter (15) and my son (17) because they’re my partner’s kids from a previous relationship.

As far as I’m concerned, they’re my kids, I love them to bits and I’m their mother now, only my mum cannot and will not accept them into our family.

She mutters that they’re intruders because they’re not ‘Our blood’.

The kids’ mother tragically died in 2024. She was a poor soul who suffered terribly in her last months. My Mum is so small minded and mean that she never gives the kids cash or presents and I’m forced to fake birthday cards to them from her. What makes me so wild is that she has such a bitter, closed mind. She’s no angel herself yet refuses to give my children a chance to prove themselves. She’s a wealthy woman and my brother’s daughters are treated to clothes and cash gifts all the time. The eldest has just received money to go travelling yet my kids got nothing for Christmas.

My partner and I have been together for five years and the longer this goes on, the more I find myself resenting my own mum. Surely charity begins at home.

The other day I held a party for my son, and my mother didn’t even look at him. He made her a cup of tea, and she wouldn’t say ‘thank you’. In the end I blew my top.

I ordered her to ‘cheer up’ or ‘get out’ and she stormed off. Now she’s calling me deranged and is telling my sister that I’m a disgrace to the family for being so disrespectful and rude.

How do I sort this without us falling out for good?

JANE SAYS: It’s unfortunate that your mother is such a stubborn, childish individual. Surely in this day and age there are more important things to rail against than two, innocent teenage children?

I’m not surprised you’re struggling to respect or love her right now, because she’s not coming across as very likeable. Clearly, she’s got some seriously outdated ideas.

This is 2026 and you’re looking after two, vulnerable individuals who tragically loss their own mother two years ago. You love their father. What else are you supposed to do? Throw them out, barefoot, into the street? Could it be that your mother feels threatened by your children; that she feels they get in the way and take your attention away from her? Talk to her about this and make it plain that you’re sick of these games.

She’s got to understand how much she’s insulting you all. She may not think it, but she has so much to teach and give in terms of experience, wisdom and hugs. Of course, there’s every chance that she’ll try and shrug this off; tell you that you’re being ridiculous and attempt to justify herself or change the subject, but at least you will have said your bit. Suggest she spends more time with you all. Make it clear that it’s never too late to build bridges and start again. However, if she’s just not interested in having a relationship with your children, and is never going to change her ways, then, I suspect, she is going to end up the loser…

Butt out

I’ve been with my partner for several years. We both have children. My problem is that I sometimes feel as though I’m nothing to him. I don’t like the way he’s still in regular contact with the mother of his teenage child. I don’t speak to any of my ex-partners, even those who are the fathers of my children. I fear that he lies to me about where he goes. If I ask him about his movements, he rudely tells me to ‘mind my own’. All I ask is for a little consideration. We recently broke up, but he’s back here again now. I feel insecure because he cheated on his other women in the past.

JANE SAYS: You two are circling each other when what you really need to sort out this mess. Ask friends or family to look after your children while you and he address your problems like mature adults. Don’t accuse and don’t shout. Ask him how he thinks things are going – and really listen to his opinions.

Can you both make changes to improve your life together? Would you and he benefit from relationship counselling? It’s right that he is in regular contact with his teenage child. Shouldn’t your children be in contact with their fathers too?

In the foot

A couple of weeks ago I had a row with a new bloke at work. I was horribly hungover and in a tetchy mood after a boozy night before. I called him a very rude word – several times over. Now I’ve heard that he’s about to become my new boss. Will he hold this against me? I’m terrified I’m going to lose my job.

JANE SAYS: I think you need to brace yourself because if this man is putting a new team together, then is he really going to want you on it? How often do you fall into work hung over from the night before?

Do you need to check out Alcoholics Anonymous (0800 9177 650) regarding your drinking? Have you considered apologising and making certain promises and amends?