‘Hot ex retains sending me naughty pics and providing attractive treats to lure me again’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is in two minds regarding his future with a sexy but unpredictable ex

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Take a chance on me

My ex-girlfriend is sexy – but exhausting.

When she’s happy and we’re in each other’s arms, there’s no one to touch her. She’s loving, witty and hot.

But she has her demons and not every minute spent in her company is fun. We have an on/off relationship, which is currently ‘off’ due to her stealing from me before Christmas. But she’s mounting a charm offensive because she’s determined to get me back. She keeps sending me slutty pictures and offering me horny treats. Can I take another chance on her when, I admit, I do miss the good times? She’s a woman with a troubled past and a huge amount of emotional baggage. We met a couple of years in a pub after she was thrown out by an ex.

At first, we were just mates; I lent her some money; gave her my sofa bed and helped her back on her feet.

One night she came into my bedroom and explained that she had feelings for me. We made love and it was wonderful. A few days later we came out as a proper couple, but not everyone was supportive. My parents told me they didn’t like her, while various friends warned me to be careful.

Things started going wrong in late 2024 when she stole from me (an old watch, clothes and LP’s).

Then men (who she claimed were family members) started turning up at my place asking for money. Eventually I asked her to leave. We got back together again in summer 2025 and, for a while things were good. But then she took my debit card and stole £300 at Christmas and we parted. Now she says she’s dumped everyone who was ever a negative influence and wants to come back. She claims I owe her another chance and that if I turn her away, then I’ll be as bad as those who let her down in the past. Where do I go from here?

JANE SAYS: You can’t stick with someone just because you feel sorry for them – that’s no basis for a mutually respectful adult relationship.

I know it’s hard, and you feel responsible for your complex, troubled ex-girlfriend, but you must start looking out for yourself. She was lucky that you didn’t report her to the police for the thefts the last time around. At the start of your association, you were warned by family and friends to take care. Obviously, they could see something in her that was troubling. It’s tragic that she mixed with bad people and was let down and led astray in the past, but if she really is a changed woman now, then the world is her oyster. Clearly, you’re a very caring person, who is prepared to look for good in others, but your relationship didn’t work then, and it won’t work now. You tried to improve your ex-girlfriend’s life, but she insulted you. Never let her, or anyone else for that matter, use you again. Tell her that you’re sorry she is single, but you’ve have moved on.

You took a chance on her, but now you must start thinking about your own sanity and security. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for her or giving in to emotional blackmail or guilt. Be reassured that she’ll survive and her future isn’t your responsibility.

Winging it

My new boss is useless.

His way of dealing with staff and budgets is to pass off my efforts and ideas as his own – and then put me down. I’m an ideas guy. Every time I come up with a cost-cutting incentive or moneymaking scheme, he snatches it from under my nose. He never gives me any credit. My colleagues all know what he’s like, but are too frightened to tell management, because he plays golf with the owner’s son. I’m sick of being overlooked. I don’t want his job, but some recognition would be appreciated.

JANE SAYS: You’re part of a team and it’s your boss’s job to direct and motivate the team, but if all he ever does is drain your brain and spit you out afterwards, then where is the job satisfaction in that? Is it worth talking to the man? Make it clear that you’re a professional who always tries his hardest. You’re only trying to earn your salary and do your job. However, if his unpleasantness continues, then maybe you’ll be forced to go over his head and speak to his boss or someone in HR. Make sure you make a note of everything that has happened so far with dates, times and details. Check out acas.org.uk for free, impartial advice on workplace rights, rules and best practice.

Wide eyed and legless

My boyfriend is loving and decent all week but goes crazy at weekends. Every Friday night he heads off with his mates into town. The problem is that he cannot drink responsibly in their company.

He gets so drunk that he can’t stand up. I’m sick of being called in the early hours to pick him up.

At the moment we’re hardly talking because he vomited over our bed, yet I’m told that I’m a nag. He says that a person is entitled to fun after a hard week at work. I don’t disagree with that, but his definition of ‘fun’ is not mine.

JANE SAYS: Wait until your guy is sober and in a more approachable mood and tell him that you only speak your mind because you care.

Every time he gets drunk, he puts himself in danger. He could be run over, mugged or beaten up.

Also, what about his health? Excessive alcohol can cause seven types of cancer including mouth and liver. Make it clear that this behaviour can’t go on.

Insist that he cuts back on the drinking. If he can’t then, insist he speaks to her GP. However, if he WON’T then do you still want to be with him? Does he enrich your life?

One way traffic

I can never get my guy on the phone. He turns up whenever he feels like sex. Time and pre-arranged plans mean nothing to him. Sometimes he ghosts me for weeks on end. When I ask him where he’s been or who he’s been with he always claims to have been asleep or at work. What’s his game?

JANE SAYS: You must conclude that this person simply doesn’t respect you enough to make an effort. If he cared, then he wouldn’t keep you hanging around. He’d make proper dates and join you at interesting places.

Everyone is busy and everyone gets tired. Why is he such a special case? If he hasn’t got a proper answer or reason to give you then you cannot allow him to treat you like a fool.