‘Threesome was wonderful however then my man walked in on me pleasuring his cousin’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Caught in the act

I recently had sex with my boyfriend’s cousin and I’m terrified that I’ve screwed up my life.

I bumped into this hunky guy in town on a night out with my best mate. He and I started chatting, flirting and then snogging. In my defence I was very drunk…

He came back to my mate’s place and all three of us had sex. It was great.

A couple of days later I messaged him – sending him a very sexy picture of myself – and we hooked up for more fun in his car. I convinced myself that we had something special going on so I invited him to come round to my flat (the one I share with my boyfriend) for a whole day of pleasure and passion. Unfortunately, my boyfriend returned home early and caught us at it.

I was completely naked and giving his cousin oral sex. I was so engrossed in the act that I didn’t even catch my bloke watching us. He then went wild throwing stuff around the room. His cowardly cousin simply grabbed his stuff and ran. I’ve not heard from him again since.

My boyfriend and I are still living together and its hell.

I don’t know what he’s thinking or planning.

He’s not the sort to forgive and forget. He’ll want revenge and retribution for this act of betrayal.

I know that it was wrong of me to cheat on him. I blame the booze and me being a total idiot.

But the not knowing what he’ll do next is completely doing my head in. I’m all on my own here and don’t know what to do for the best. Even my best friend has distanced herself from me because she works with my boyfriend and is worried about her job.

Why am I such an idiot?

JANE SAYS: There’s no getting away from the fact that you did a terrible thing; you should never have slept with your boyfriend’s cousin. Drinking too much is never an excuse.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you felt tempted to cheat in the first place? Has your relationship been running on empty for some time? If you’re scared of what your wounded boyfriend might do next, then you should think about your wellbeing and safety. The man has been deeply humiliated and let down – by his girlfriend and his relative. Who knows what he could be capable of? I’m not suggesting that he’s going to be violent or break the law, but why stick around if you’re scared? If he won’t talk to you, then write him a letter or send him an email, apologising one last time, then move out.

I agree that what you did was utterly mindless and stupid. You had sex with your fella’s cousin in your own bed. How inconsiderate and cruel is that?

You’ve got to get out of that flat and into somewhere where you can exhale and work out what you’re going to do next. You’re on your own and this is the beginning of a fresh start. It’s a shame that your best friend doesn’t feel able to support you, but everyone has their own fears and agenda. Share your story with your wider family and call the police if you ever feel in danger.

Walk on the wild side

I’m worried that I came on too strong with the girl I adore. We went on a few, intense dates at the beginning of the year and started sleeping together last month. At one point I made the mistake of yelling out “I love you” at the point of orgasm and now she’s avoiding me.

I’m bombarding her with calls and texts to rekindle things. I’ve suggested walks, meals out, movies – everything. But it’s dawned on me that I might be coming across as too intense and needy.

What can I do to get us back on an even keel again?

JANE SAYS: Leave the woman alone, don’t ever contact her again.

It might be tempting to contact her again to apologise or ask for a second chance, but don’t go there. Don’t rub salt in the wound by keeping on because you could be accused of harassing or stalking her. Accept that you and she are never going to get it together and move on. If you don’t, then you could find yourself in some very serious trouble. Delete her number from your phone and take her off all your socials so that you’re never tempted to contact her again in a moment of weakness. Unfortunately, if you are accused of being a nuisance, then you must tell the absolute truth and vow to learn from this.

One way traffic

One of my oldest friends has become mean with money.

Last year she upped sticks and moved to a new town.

Since then, I’ve visited her half a dozen times – and spent a fortune on each occasion.

I never arrive empty handed. I always take wine and food. Back in February I also took her to her local pub where I spent £60 on lunch. She didn’t offer a penny.

I always text and phone her, which annoys me too.

I know that she has money because her Dad died last year.

JANE SAYS: You need to wake up and face facts. I get the impression that you’re hanging onto an old friendship that ran out of steam a long time ago.

If your mate can’t be bothered to make contact, then you’re not as important as you once were.

Time marches on and situations change. I suggest you leave the ball in her court now. If she makes the effort to speak you again, then great, if she doesn’t then focus on the people who do care. The problem is that you cannot allow her to drain you of your time, energy and money.

Little madam

Our daughter has moved into her own flat (which we’ve given her money towards). My husband has decorated all the rooms to her specifications, and we’ve also given her furniture and electrical goods. Yet we’re never thanked or appreciated. She’s just demanded that she wants another £500 for a new sofa.

She’s 33.

JANE SAYS: Tell your daughter that you’re exhausted – both physically and financially – and are taking a back seat. She’s an adult and entitled to have the things she wants in her own home. If she fancies a new sofa then she can save up for one. Try not to become resentful or dwell on this matter. Let her know that you’ll always be around to back her up and support her but it’s time she stood on her own two feet.