‘Horny landlady says she was practising first support when she was mouth-to-mouth on my man’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who can’t trust her troublesome landlady to keep her hands to herself

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Shameless acts

My horny landlady won’t leave my boyfriend alone. I keep catching her snuggling up to him; sitting on his lap and worse… Once, I walked into our flat to find them snogging. She had him pushed up against a wall. He was her captive. I pulled her off him with all my might. She claimed she’d just returned from a First Aid course was simply teaching him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Standing up? I’m in no doubt that if I hadn’t intervened then she would have wrestled him to the floor for full sex.

I ranted at him for fraternising with her and he swore that he’d done nothing to encourage her. He’d simply rocked up at the flat to take me out and she’d ambushed him.

Another time she staggered in drunk after a boozy lunch. My guy and I were trying to play X-Box, and she literally launched herself at him. She kept screaming: “I’m horny. Service me”.

It was all I could do to get between them.

In the end the woman from next door heard the commotion came in. Between us we managed to get my landlady into the shower to sober up, then she was sick all over me. Lovely.

The problem is that this is a great flat and the rent is cheap. It’s near my work and my family. I really don’t want to move out but this female bulldozer is making life very difficult. Especially as my boyfriend has admitted that he finds her hot and is flattered by her attention. I feel as though I’m fighting continuous fires in my own home. I live in dread of turning my back.

JANE SAYS: You can’t possibly stay in an environment where you feel threatened and under siege. Your current flat may well be comfortable and affordable, but your landlady is clearly a nightmare. She’s a threat to your relationship and a nuisance. If you can’t trust her any time your back is turned, then it’s game over. You need to find somewhere new. What are your options in the local area? Speak to family and friends and put your thinking cap on.

As for your boyfriend, he needs to assure you that he never does anything to encourage this woman. He might be flattered by her attention but do you trust him? Does he have your best interests at heart?

I suggest you insist he only visits when you’re there in future and even then, this woman needs to be banned from your room. I get the impression that she is someone who enjoys being disruptive; that she gets a kick out of winding you up and being a minx. If she’s so horny and bored, then why doesn’t she find a partner of her own? Suggest it. Point out to her that you’re not stupid and you’re not putting up with any more of her rubbish.

I can’t resist

A colleague is a feeder. I’ve told her many times that I’m keen to lose weight and get fit ahead of my son’s wedding in July. Yet she continues to bring in homemade cookies, cakes and savouries.

She’s an amazing cook and I can’t resist her bakes. In addition, she leaves chocolate and sweets on my desk, which are addictive andf delicious. The irony is that she never touches a single thing she brings in. Her figure is amazing.

I have tried asking her not to tempt me. I wish she’d respect my wishes. What can I say without upsetting her when we sit so close to each other?

JANE SAYS: Your colleague isn’t being kind or generous.

Maybe seeing you gorge yourself makes her feel superior and smug? I suggest that you start to put yourself – and your health – first. Make sure that you eat a good breakfast and take in a filling, healthy lunch, so that you never get too hungry. If anything, naughty/ unwelcome does appear, then firmly tell her that you’re not tempted or interested. It may sound heavy handed, but do you need to talk to someone higher up about office etiquette? I can’t imagine that the people employing you would be happy to hear that you frequently feel embarrassed and compromised. Could your creative colleague be encouraged to cook for a charity in her own time instead?

Mental block

I was delighted when my appalling ex and I finally split. It felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I went wild dating a wide variety of men.

But having sex with anyone new is proving impossible. I can’t relax enough to make intercourse possible. Recently I bought a gorgeous guy back here after he’d paid for dinner and wine. I was keen to sleep with him, only I couldn’t ‘let go’ and he went home disappointed.

I want to chill out and enjoy orgasms, but my body is putting up a barrier and this is frustrating. Will I ever be able to experience true passion again?

JANE SAYS: In the first instance I suggest you visit your GP. Be scrupulously honest and ask for a full examination. I know that might sound an unpleasant prospect, but you must find out what’s going on. It’s possible that your problem isn’t necessarily physical. It could be that living with your former partner, has left psychological scars and that a condition called vaginismus (involuntary spasms of the muscles within the vagina) has set in. Counselling and practical steps can be considered.

Take dating and sexual activity off the menu while you concentrated on your health.

Shut down

My new sister-in-law argues with everything I say. I’m too scared to say that I really think about current affairs because she shouts me down and humiliates me in front of others. I don’t consider myself a radical or a rebel, but I do have certain opinions, which, unfortunately are never allowed to be heard anymore.

JANE SAYS: If your sister-in-law is so immature that she can’t have a reasonable, balanced discussion with you about current affairs, then I suggest you save yourself the hassle by avoiding conflict. Tell her that you know what you think – and she’s not going to change your mind – but you refuse to have your head bitten off at family events. Don’t rise to her bait but do vow to be true to yourself and your thoughts.