‘Boyfriend is demanding a fivesome along with his mates and a intercourse employee – or he’ll dump me’
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Unwashed and tricky
My boyfriend plays with my mind.
I sometimes wonder if he deliberately tries to drive me insane. He winds me up; does things that he knows I hate and laughs when I react.
My mate says he’s the cruellest person she’s ever met and she’s dated some monsters in her time.
For example; I’ve told him a million times that I don’t like him vaping in the flat because it makes me feel sick, yet he regularly looks me in the eye, pulls out a fruity e-cig and puffs away right in front of me.
Any time I walk into a room he flips open his laptop and turns ON porn.
The latest thing is that he wants us to have a sex party with two of his most revolting mates – and a hooker. He claims that this is a relationship breaker. If I refuse to join in, then he’ll leave me.
I hate his mates who are unwashed, tricky and make me feel uncomfortable. As for the poor hooker, why on earth would I want to pay for sex with another woman?
I can’t help but feel that he’s deliberately trying to push my buttons here. It seems as if he’s doing everything in his power to bring me to boiling point.
If I complain about his selfish behaviour he says: “What are you going to do about it?” It’s like he is willing me to walk out and leave him.
Sometimes I wonder if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me at all. I know that all couples go through sticky patches, but our relationship is drowning in quicksand.
Why is he so unreasonable and cruel? What is he trying to achieve?
JANE SAYS: If your guy is too cowardly to admit that his feelings have changed, then you need to take the upper hand and bring this sordid relationship to an end.
I know it’s humiliating, terrifying and inconvenient to find yourself suddenly alone, but what other choice do you have? The man clearly doesn’t care about your mental health or safety, so you must start putting yourself first by going it alone.
My suspicion is that your man would like this relationship to end, only he hasn’t got the bottle to tell you ‘goodbye’. Instead, he thinks by chipping away at your confidence and patience that you’ll finally blow your top and leave him alone.
Sadly, on an everyday level he has no respect nor regard for you. He deliberately does things that he knows upset you.
Now, to demand that two of his nastiest friends come into your home, with a professional sex worker, for a sleazy party, must be the final straw. What further indignation could there be?
Why on earth would you ever agree to that?
I feel this is a deliberate attempt at provocation on your bloke’s part.
Turn to trusted friends and family for help and support. Clearly your oldest pal can see him for the creep he is. Don’t feel guilty and don’t look back.
Suits you
I only see my girlfriend when it suits her.
She only wants me for my hot showers, fresh food and comfy bed. She loves to travel – it’s her passion – but she thinks nothing of crashing at mine when funds run low. When I accuse her of using me, she makes out that I’m unreasonable and mean. Am I?
JANE SAYS: Plenty of people do have unconventional arrangements, which work for them but if you don’t like the way your on/off girlfriend treats you, then you must tell her, ‘no more’.
Clearly, she views your cosy home as her refuge. But if she’s not paying her way, respecting your wishes or making you happy, then she’ll have to make alternative arrangements. I bet she can’t believe that she’s still getting away with this.
