‘I despatched my boyfriend bare pics after I was 14 – then the blackmail started’
Prime Minister Keir Starmer has spoken to the Mirror about proposed restrictions on social media for under 16s, saying “it’s not a question of whether we will act, but how”
Nellie Venner-King, who is now 24, sent her then-boyfriend nude pictures of herself on Snapchat, which were then used to blackmail her
Keir Starmer has said of proposed restrictions on social media for under 16s: “I’ve been clear something must be done, and it’s not a question of whether we will act, but how.” Following the ban of social media for under 16s in Australia, calls have grown for reform here in the UK, including increased safety measures to curb addictive features and harmful content. And our readers are in support. Our latest poll asked if you were in support of a ban, and 66% were in favour of social media restrictions, up 2% from a similar poll in December.
The children’s charity NSPCC says moves to improve the safety of platforms such as Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat will go further to protect children than a blanket ban. Prime Minister Starmer says he is committed to making it happen. He told us: “Every parent knows this is a real and growing concern.
“The way our children are using social media is changing fast, and too often it is happening without the right protections in place. This is about following the evidence and making sure any measures we take work in practice. That is why we have launched a consultation looking at the full range of options, and I would encourage all Mirror readers to have their say. Our goal is simple: to protect children from harm, give parents peace of mind, and build a safer digital environment that reflects the realities young people are growing up in.” Here we meet two people whose lives were torn apart by social media, and who say the restrictions cannot come a moment too soon.
‘I send nude pics at 14 to a boyfriend on Snapchat… it spiralled out of control’
Nellie Venner-King, 24, is a criminology master’s degree student and works part time in a pub. She lives in Kent with her parents and her older brother
“When I was 14, in August 2016, I sent three naked images to a boyfriend, via Snapchat’s disappearing photo function. You couldn’t reply or save a Snap, and you’d get a notification if it was screenshotted. That didn’t happen, so I didn’t think anything of it. In November he ended the relationship and the following May I moved schools. Soon after, one of my friends messaged me to say, ‘I think you should know that this is happening’ – and sent me an image of myself. I asked them to delete it.
“But things spiralled. Within weeks I was getting messages daily from people, some I didn’t know, calling me a ‘slag’. I later found out he’d used an external app to download the photos without notifying the other person. He’d then saved them in a password protected app on his phone that was disguised as a calculator.
“I was ashamed and so I dealt with it on my own for two months. I was so stressed that I started losing my hair. I stopped going out. Then the blackmail began. People contacted me on Instagram and Snapchat, saying if I didn’t send more images of myself, they would share the ones they had. I rang ChildLine, who advised me to contact [law enforcement agency] CEOP. And they contacted my school, who told my mum, who was amazing. We called the police. Three people were arrested: my ex and two peers from school, but no charges were brought.
“Two years later, the CPS said they couldn’t prove I hadn’t sent the images to the phones they were found on. It was very upsetting. Social media needs to be made safer. With Snapchat, the premise is your messages disappear. It’s irresponsible to put that into the pockets of 13 year olds. It’s not just what they’re sharing, but who they’re being contacted by too. Traceability is so important. I don’t think people should have anonymity online. A lot of people think restrictions mean young people won’t be allowed to access apps. It’s not – it’s making them operate differently. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through.”
‘Social media predators coerced my son to take his own life’
George Nicolaou, 55, is a business owner and campaigner who lives in Cheshunt, Herts. He is married to Areti, 53, and the couple have three grown-up children between them. Their youngest son, Christoforos, took his life in March 2022, aged 15.
“The pain of losing my son was unbearable. At first glance it looked like suicide. But Christoforos was such a happy child, intelligent, his whole life ahead of him, I didn’t believe he did this on purpose. His behaviour had changed, he was spending more time in his room. Police took his computer and his phone but didn’t find anything suspicious.
“Two days later, I remembered twice our house alarm had gone off. When I checked the sensor outside Christoforos’ room I saw a screw had been tampered with. He’d set the alarm off. But why? I looked through his social media, and on [messaging platform] Discord, I found disturbing messages. ‘Are you dead yet?’ one read. My blood ran cold. Christoforos had been sucked into a social media ‘game’ in which participants were given a number of challenges to complete in 50 days.
“They started off small, eating cornflakes in two and a half minutes, setting off the house alarm. But they got more extreme, like staying up all night to watch horror films. The last one was to go through the motions of killing yourself. And that is how my son died.
“He’d been contacted by predators, who sent him a link to sign up for the challenge. They’d threatened to hurt his family if he backed out. The pain myself and Areti have been through is indescribable. Christoforos was the light of our lives. His death has ripped us to shreds, I’ve had two heart attacks since.
“I wholeheartedly support restrictions – even a potential ban. I dedicate my life to advocacy, and hope speaking out will save other children’s lives. My son’s life was taken by social media. How many more children have to die before something is done about it?”
*See christoforoscharityfoundation.co.uk for more information; and nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/social-media for advice about how to keep children safe on social media.
