Legendary alien soothsayer Zoltar confirms England will win World Cup from Area 51
The green mystic lives in the Area 51 Alien Center in Nevada and the Daily Star has asked the green-skinned ET who will the World Cup and it’s good news for Thomas Tuchel
England will win the World Cup, according to ET. Legendary alien soothsayer Zoltar – who has been dishing out predictions to visitors to America’s Area 51 military base for years – is backing the Three Lions to end 60 years of hurt.
The green mystic lives in the Area 51 Alien Center in Nevada – just outside the classified US Air Force base whistleblowers claim maybe harbouring crashed UFOs and the remains of up to 10 extraterrestrial bodies recovered from the wreckage.
We tracked Zoltar down to ask him the only real question that matters right now – not ‘are we alone’ but ‘is it coming home?’
After crossing his green palm with five dollars we asked if England would win the World Cup for the first time since their sole 1966 triumph.
To the delight of Three Lions’ fans everywhere he replied: “My highly advanced alien brain predicts a thrilling time is in your near future.
“You may also plan for many pleasures ahead. And a bonus prediction just for you – just when you gave up hope, something you lost will turn up very soon. I am the oldest alien fortune teller in the Universe. Only listen to alien Zoltar. Alien Zoltar has spoken.”
His remarks fit the Three Lions’ situation perfectly. It would certainly be a ‘thrilling time’ for the nation if Thomas Tuchel ’s team lifts the trophy.
He suggests supporters should start planning ahead for ‘many pleasures ahead’.
Many Lions’ fans have indeed given up hope of seeing the team lift a major football trophy. The World Cup final is in less than three weeks – which would fit in with Zoltar’s definition of ‘very soon’.
And his declaration ‘something you lost will turn up very soon’ accurately describes England’s relationship with the World Cup.
They lost it to Brazil in 1970 hoping they would regain it quickly. But the wait has gone for six decades.
A source close to the team said: “England’s players value all of their supporters – no matter where they come from. We’ve noticed new groups fans hailing from a range of different backgrounds.
“Many of those wearing England shirts at matches have come from the US. Mexicans have been getting on board because our miners introduced the country to the game many years ago.
“We’ve even got a few German fans on our side because of the nationality of the manager. So it is perhaps not so surprising visitors from a little further afield are backing us too.”
