‘They say my daughter’s a intercourse employee – I do not know whether or not to be proud or ashamed’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Spicy girl
I’ve got a horrible feeling that my daughter is selling sex. She rents a flash pad and runs a top-of-the range car. Any time I see her she’s wearing a new outfit and her watch is worth a fortune. She tells me not to worry; that she’s an entrepreneur and will always be able to look after herself.
But I do worry about what might be getting up to behind closed doors. She swears she’s not lonely, but she’s never introduced me to a single boyfriend.
She never talks about men friends either. It’s as if she’s hiding something.
I don’t think I’m imagining her secret life, because there was a drama a couple of years ago with an ex-neighbour saying nasty things about her. Apparently, he’d seen her online. He stopped me in the street, one day, and told me that my daughter was a ‘filthy disgrace’ and that I should be ashamed of myself. I have no idea what he saw, and I don’t want to know, but I suspect, it was spicy…
My daughter is 28-years of age and very beautiful and confident.
Sometimes I note a certain sadness in her eyes. I ask her what’s wrong, but she quickly brightens up and says: “nothing Mum” and gives me a cuddle. I have tried asking her about her working week, but she always fobs me off with a stock answer.
I dread to think what she does. The mind boggles. She’s very generous; always giving me money and gifts, but all I want is for her to be happy and safe. How do I get her to sort her life out, before something terrible happens?
JANE SAYS: You’re a mother and you worry about your daughter’s safety and wellbeing; but maybe you must accept that she’s chosen her own path. She’s earning a good living and getting by the best she can.
You have absolutely no proof that she is a sex worker – high class or otherwise – you have your suspicions and a few nasty words from an ex-neighbour, but nothing concrete. It could be that she’s in a relationship with a married person or is supported by a sugar daddy.
Whatever the truth; it’s obvious that she doesn’t wish to tell you any more about her personal life; probably to spare your blushes and keep things private.
But if you do feel uncomfortable taking her money, then tell her today that she’s under no obligation to support you. Of course you’re very grateful for her generosity, but she mustn’t feel under any pressure to sub you, because you don’t expect it.
I suspect that the truth will come out one day, because it always does. In the meantime, all you can tell your daughter is that you love her. Beg her to look after herself, not take risks and remember her self-respect. After that, she’s a grown up and on her own.
If she’s running her own business, then then ask her to make sure that her accounts and tax returns are in perfect order.
Nasty piece of work
My father cheated on my mother for years. They divorced (acrimoniously) in 2018.
Now he’s married to a woman who has him firmly under her thumb. She keeps trying to tell ME what a lovely, loyal and honest man he is. So far, I’ve bitten my tongue, but does she deserve to hear the truth? Sometimes the temptation to put her straight is overwhelming.
JANE SAYS: Your Father may have been horrible in the past, but it sounds as if his wings are now clipped.
Tell your stepmother, if you like, that your Father isn’t perfect, but who is? I strongly suspect that she already knows about his past, that’s why she’s got him on such a tight rein now. Everyone is entitled to clean up their act and change.
Make sure that your birth Mum is supported.
