‘She used to love threesomes – now she fakes her orgasms and brushes me off’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who longs for old school fun and frolics in the bedroom

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

In the deep end

My partner used to be a good laugh.

In the early days of our relationship, she was daring and naughty and up for any kind of game.

Once we snuck into the local open air swimming pool at night. We stripped naked and jumped in the deep end. We groped and fumbled until the night watchman roared at us to get out. She invited him to join us in a threesome, and I swear he briefly considered it…

But these days all she wants to do is go up to bed early play with her phone. Any time I suggest a kiss and cuddle she tells me she’s too tired.

On the rare occasions when we do make love, it’s all over and done within minutes.

We’ve only been living together for a year, but we’ve already settled into a sexual routine that is so predictable that I could perform it in my sleep.

And I can tell that she fakes her orgasm to get me off her because she can’t wait to get in the shower.

She’s just not prepared to try anything dirty or new.

When we first started dating, all sorts of sexual positions and oral sex were on the menu.

We used to spend hours in bed simply pleasuring each other and having a scream. She claims that she’s ‘done with all that’ now that we’re a couple and we’re established. But I’m still young and feel as though I’m just getting started.

How do I make her understand that she’s in danger of pushing me away?

JANE SAYS: Sadly, your girl hasn’t grasped the fact that relationships are works in progress. Anyone in a long-term union will tell you that it takes compromise, love and lots of hard work in order to keep things strong.

She has to hear how unhappy and frustrated you are. Make it clear that you’re not satisfied with the way things are going – both in bed and out of it.

You don’t feel that she’s making any kind of an effort for you and you’re bored.

Your girlfriend’s biggest crime is settling into a comfort zone.

Talk to her away from the bedroom today. Explain that this is not the life for you. Tell her that you’d like to start afresh; go back to basics and give this relationship a well-needed shot in the arm.

Organise unbreakable dates; early nights and surprises.

How is she feeling in herself? Is she struggling with confidence issues? Her body or her libido? Does she need to consult her GP? Is there anything she needs to tell you?

This is all about making a real effort for each other. Obviously, you’re not threatening your girl in any way. But knowing that you have unattended needs and desires will, hopefully, wake her up to the fact that something significant has to change if you’re to contemplate a future together.

Nanny state

My Dad doesn’t like me working. He thinks I should stay at home to mind his children for free.

His wife (my stepmother and the mother of the kids) is a high-flyer who resents having to hand over proper wages to a nanny. I admit that my supermarket job doesn’t pay much, but at least I have my freedom. How do I tell them ‘no’.

JANE SAYS: You need to tell your dad that this idea stinks.

It’s not your job to look after anyone’s children.

Don’t allow him to intimidate you or control your life.

Tell him that you don’t give in to emotional blackmail because your current job is valid and important. Talk to sympathetic other family members or friends for support if you feel you’re being got at.