‘I’m scared my boyfriend can pay for intercourse with the dominatrix madam subsequent door’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Personal services
My next door neighbour offers ‘personal services’ to paying gentlemen. I get the impression that she’s very domineering and strict – judging by the squeals and slaps I hear coming from her place…
My boyfriend has just moved in with me and is obsessed with her. She’s all he talks about.
I’m paranoid that he might feel tempted to pop in there behind my back. He’s a thrill seeker. He’s hot-headed, sexy with a bad boy reputation and I know that he cheated on all of his ex-girlfriend’s.
I work irregular shifts so come and go at all sorts of odd times. My boyfriend promises me that he’s as good as gold, but can I trust him?
I don’t want to see as jealous or to question him, but I can feel myself become anxious and stressed.
JANE SAYS: Every relationship functions on truth and trust.
From what you say your boyfriend hasn’t done anything to justify your fears. He’s told you that you can trust him. Why isn’t that good enough for you? Should you be with someone you doubt?
Okay, so he’s got a reputation; he’s known to be a bad boy and a thrill seeker, but surely, he’s allowed to turn over a new leaf?
The problem is that the more you quiz and accuse him, the more likely you’ll be to push him away.
If you can’t bring yourself to believe him, then maybe he’s not the guy for you.
Talk to him tonight in an attempt to finally clear the air. Trust your instincts and don’t put up with any nonsense.
Slapped bum
I’m a private, gay man. I’ve never come out to my family or colleagues. All I want to do is get on with my life in peace.
Unfortunately, I’m being sexually harassed by a woman I work with. I can’t walk past her without her touching my arm or slapping my bum.
This is awkward and embarrassing. She’s younger than I am and very pretty. Lots of the younger guys fancy her, yet she seems to be fascinated with me. I don’t know if this is a wind-up; if she’s deliberately going out of her way to humiliate me or if she genuinely likes me. I don’t know what is motivating her or what is going through her mind, but I just need her to leave me alone. How do I achieve that without drawing attention to myself?
JANE SAYS: It could be that this flighty woman sees you as a nut to crack. She’s a vain attention seeker. She knows that she’s surrounded by plenty of guys who do adore her, yet you’re different. You’re older and more mysterious. Therefore, in her, immature, mind you’re a challenge. Bully for her, but it’s vital that you don’t allow her to intimidate or distract you.
You’re at work in order to get on with your tasks; earn your salary and go home, you shouldn’t have to put up with these childish games. I advise you to keep away from her as much as possible. If she does touch you again; then very politely say that you’d rather she didn’t do that in future, because you don’t like it.
If she does it again, then speak to your union and the HR department. Keep a diary outlining everything that has happened so far. Check out ACAS (www.acas.org.uk) if you need support or further advice.
Tight wad
My oldest friend thinks it’s clever to slag me off in front of my children. She criticises my cooking, my clothes and the state of my house. She’ll ‘joke’ about me being lazy or mean. The other day she called me ‘tight’ because I hadn’t cooked enough food for her to stay for tea. I’m sick of her barbs when she spends so much time hanging out in my kitchen.
JANE SAYS: You need to tell this deeply annoying woman to take a hike. How dare she steal your time, abuse your hospitality and then insult you in front of your children? I suspect that she’s jealous of everything you’ve got, but that’s no excuse for ingratitude or rudeness. Edit her out of your life. Show her the door before you blow your top or one of your children starts to get upset.
