Adult star made herself ‘ugly’ to cease Mormon males approaching her each Sunday
An adult content creator says that at 18 she got a buzz cut to stop men in her Mormon Young Single Adults ward hitting on her each Sunday – despite her parents insisting she attend church
Kit Barrus (Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
Adult content creator Kit Barrus has revealed she once shaved off her long hair at 18 for an unusual reason: she wanted the men at her Mormon Single Adults Ward to stop trying to talk to her.
Long before she became an outspoken adult creator and entrepreneur, Kit was growing up in a Mormon household where, she says, marriage and motherhood were treated as major milestones for young women.
At 18, Kit was working full-time at a law firm and still living with her parents when they gave her a condition: if she wanted to remain under their roof, she had to continue attending church.
She wanted the men at her Mormon Single Adults Ward to stop trying to talk to her(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
More specifically, they wanted her to attend a Young Single Adult ward – a congregation for unmarried young Mormon adults, where Kit says attendees were hoping to meet a future partner. “I was 18 at the time and working full-time at a law firm,” Kit explains.
“My parents told me that if I wanted to keep living at home, I had to go to church. They wanted me to attend the single adults ward, which was basically for single people aged around 18 to 24 who were looking to get married.”
Kit (@kitthebeefcake ), however, had absolutely no interest in finding a Mormon husband. She would sit towards the back of the church each Sunday, hoping to fulfil her obligation to her parents without drawing attention to herself.
Kit grew up in a Mormon household(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
It didn’t work. “I was sitting in like a back pew just to check this box for my parents and show up, and every Sunday a different guy was sitting next to me and trying to shoot his shot and be friendly, ” she says.
While sitting at work one day, she floated an idea to a colleague: what if she simply shaved off all of her hair? “She was like, ‘Do it.
“Do it now.’ And so on my lunch break, I drove to Supercuts and I was like, ‘Just give me a buzz cut.’”
At 18, Kit was working full-time at a law firm(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
Kit had long hair at the time and remembers the hairdresser repeatedly checking whether she was sure. When Kit arrived home, her new haircut did not go down particularly well.
“My dad lost his shit and took my car keys. He was like, ‘You’re not a boy.
“Stop acting like one.’” But as far as Kit was concerned, the haircut achieved exactly what she wanted.
Marriage and motherhood were treated as major milestones where she grew up(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
“And then nobody sat next to me anymore at church,” she says. “It was great.”
She remembers once overhearing two young Mormon men talking excitedly about eventually providing financially for their future families. Kit pushed back, asking how they would feel if their future wife was better educated or earned more than them.
“They were just dead quiet,” she recalls. “They were like, ‘Well, she’ll still stay home with them.’
She had no interest in finding a Mormon husband(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
“And I was like, ‘Is that what’s best for your family?’” For Kit, who was already highly ambitious and independent, that attitude was difficult to reconcile with what she wanted from her own life.
“Your job as a man isn’t to make all the money,” she says. “Your job as a man is to create a safe, nurturing environment where your family can be their best.”
Kit describes the Young Single Adult social scene as something almost resembling organised dating. “They’ll have these activities that are like dates almost, but they’re like big group dates,” she explains.
Kit pushed back(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
According to Kit, conversations between potential couples could quickly turn towards religion and compatibility. “It is like, ‘Do you love God?’” she says.
“You’re trying to make sure your spirituality aligns and then you can sort out the rest.” Kit says the expectation to pair off could begin remarkably young.
She remembers church dances as a teenager where boys and girls were allowed to dance together, while maintaining what she jokingly describes as an “open Bible distance” between their bodies. Despite having long hair and looking, in her words, “very normal”, Kit says she was rarely asked to dance.
Kit says many of the young Mormon women she knew were intelligent(Image: Kit Barrus/Supplied)
“It wasn’t because I had short hair, because I didn’t,” she says. “I looked like all the other girls.”
Kit says many of the young Mormon women she knew were intelligent, academically successful but she felt there was an expectation to soften those achievements. Kit says there was also a clear sense of urgency surrounding marriage.
“So girls will be 18 dating guys who are 21 who just got back from their mission, and then the guys will be really keen to get married,” she explains. “As soon as you get married, you’re pretty much trying for kids.”
She still doesn’t care whether a partner earns more or less than she does. What matters to her is independence, ambition and effort.
“I don’t necessarily want a rich partner,” Kit says. “But I want a man who, whatever he’s doing, is working hard at it and who has hobbies and interests.”
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