‘I believe my boyfriend is again bonking his ex and it is all my fault’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Intimate messages
My partner is back in contact with his ex – and it’s all my fault. I’ve seen his phone and they’re sending each other intimate messages and nasty comments about me. One of my friends has even suggested they might be meeting for sex.
She recently saw them him coming out of a local hotel at 8am. He’d told me he was visiting his brother…
I’m an idiot. It was me who suggested he make contact after her mother died.
I encouraged him to pay his respects but now he’s disrespecting me. All we do is argue. He insists there’s nothing going on but he’s stopped kissing me and instigating sex. Yet he’s never too tired for ‘drinks after work’ or ‘park runs’ that seem to last for hours.
JANE SAYS: Your fella must understand that your relationship is in serious of danger. Admit that you made a mistake: you should never have encouraged him to speak to his ex. Now things have gone too far; he’s sneaking around and you’re hurting like never before. Beg him to end all contact with her now, because remaining her friend is not an option.
However, if he absolutely refuses to meet you halfway, then do you and he have a future?
If you’re convinced – and you have some actual proof – that they’re indulging in dirty talk or even sex, then you need to start protecting yourself. Is the writing on the wall?
Wash out
My girl doesn’t have a domestic bone in her body. She never washes up or clears away.
Recently I came home and the kitchen floor was flooded. The washing machine had broken.
Not only had she failed to warn me, but she’d gone out drinking with her mates. How do I make her understand that I can’t function like this? I work hard to keep our new, flat, clean. I need order and calm.
JANE SAYS: If you and your girl have never sat down and discussed how you’re going to live your life, then I strongly recommend you do so. I get the impression that she resents being cast in the role of homemaker just because she’s a woman.
This is a new journey for both of you and there are compromises and arrangements to be made.
But it’s vital you take time to flag up problems and areas of conflict now, before they become any worse. If anything, she sounds immature and irresponsible.
I’m sure that most of feel like running away when something annoying, like a major leak, happens.
Plus washing up and clearing away are boring, but they’ve got to be done. Are you quite sure that she’s right for you?
Never say never
My girlfriend chats to other men online.
She says they’re James Bond fans from all over the world and that I’ve got nothing to worry about.
But I don’t understand why she must converse with other guys, especially as all she seems to do is giggle and flirt.
JANE SAYS: Make it clear that you’re by no means a control freak but tell your girl that she hurts and confuses you and makes you feel insecure with every call.
How about putting that phone away and talking to you instead? How about going out for a walk or going up for an early night? Tell her you refuse to be in competition with strangers. You and she have all the time in the world…
