‘Boyfriend is demanding threesome with horny lady from work and will not take no for a solution’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

I’m a pleaser

My boyfriend wants to organise a threesome with a girl from his work. He boasts that she’s sexy and fun and that I’ve love and fancy her. I’ve told him that I’m not interested, but he’s not giving up.

He feels that if he nags long and hard enough, then I’ll eventually give in. He’s probably right; I’m sure I will. That’s just the way my life goes; people pick at me until I unravel because I’m so desperate to be liked and to please them.

No one likes or respects me.

I consider myself a kind, friendly person but, I’m frequently let down and left disappointed by others.

It’s got to the point where I can’t even rely on members of my own family to support and help me.

The other day I asked my sister to drive me to an important hospital appointment. She said she’d have to charge me the equivalent of a taxi fare, as she’s broke. This is despite me babysitting her children every week, for free, and lending her £2,000 in 2023, which I’ve never had back.

My parents make me feel guilty for not doing enough for them even though I never stop running around and ‘friends’ constantly take advantage of my good nature.

I hate to sound like a sad loser, but I hate my life.

Every morning I wake up and vow that today will be different; I’ll stand up for myself and tell various people to ‘get stuffed’ but it never happens and then I hate myself even more.

The other day I made the mistake of asking my boss why I’m so put upon and disrespected.

She looked me up and down and sneered: “It’s because you’re so pathetic” and flounced off to long lunch leaving me to hold the fort – again.

JANE SAYS: Start standing up for yourself. Start saying no – and meaning it. You’ll be surprised by how much respect you’ll get if you have the courage of your convictions. If you genuinely feel that you can’t do this by yourself, then speak to your GP and then check out assertiveness training courses in your area.

Sadly, you suffer from very low self-esteem. Because you don’t have any confidence, and don’t think much of yourself, you allow others to walk all over you and treat you like dirt.

What’s it going to take for you to wake up to the fact that you’re an important; vital; proud person, who deserves respect in every area of your life?

Does this all go back to your childhood and your parents? Did they constantly put you down and tell you that you were nothing? Shame on them if they did, but you can’t allow your future to be dictated to by them and their manipulative ways.

I’d like you to take the time to jot down exactly how you’d like things to be; a life plan if you like. Highlight the people who annoy and upset you the most and write down exactly how you’d like to be treated from now on. Tell your sister that you’re no longer available for free babysitting.

As for the obnoxious boyfriend; dump him without a backward glance. He sounds like a user and a slug to me.

High price to pay

We aren’t rich people; we rent a flat and have various loans and credit card debts. Yet my girl is talking about borrowing cash from a distant relative (who I don’t like or trust) to fund our May 2027 wedding day.

I don’t care about big dresses or a flash reception; I just want to get wed. I’ve long suspected that the relative she’s approached is a crook. I fear she’s more concerned with impressing her friends than committing herself to me.

JANE SAYS: Going broke for the sake of one day doesn’t add up.

If spending loads of money on an expensive wedding is going to blight the early years of your marriage, then it’s just not worth it.

As you know; debt equals worry and you certainly don’t need any more of that. Tell your girlfriend, today, that you are the other half of this partnership and you are entitled to your say. This is the first real test you’ve faced, so insist on common sense and compromise. Sadly, if she’s not willing to listen to you or back down in the slightest, then maybe you and she need to re-examine your priorities? You also have to trust your gut feeling regarding this rich relative. If he really is a crook, then isn’t he going to want his pound of flesh if you fail to pay him back on time – with interest?

Taking advantage

My son and his partner live in chaos.

Recently my hubby and I went over to their place, and I genuinely thought they’d been burgled.

We spent the whole day clearing and cleaning.

We went to the supermarket and spent over £200 on food and toiletries.

Yet my son hardly noticed on their return. They woofed down the chilli I’d made and asked us to mind the dog so that they could go away for the weekend.

Now my husband has declared that he’s never doing anything for them again. This is awkward.

JANE SAYS: You love your family and want to be helpful, but your son and his partner are taking you for a ride.

They’re incredibly lucky to have you and your husband on hand, but they’re now in danger of blowing it.

It’s not your job to clean their home and fill their fridge. Tell your son that you’re happy to dog sit (if you are), but it must be on your terms, in your home.

Unless you change the way, you operate, I fear that you and your husband will become even more angry and resentful in future – and that’s not good for anyone. Take control and lay down some unbreakable ground rules.

Friend in need

I have two sons. The eldest has always been my favourite. I’ve given him loads of money.

Recently, I was ill, yet my eldest didn’t visit me once. Instead, it was his brother (the younger) who came to the hospital and is now looking after me. My eldest is too busy to even phone. How could I have been so blinkered?

JANE SAYS: You now know the truth so appreciate and thank the son who is doing so much for you.

I agree that you should never have favoured one son over the other in the first place. If your eldest doesn’t wish to visit, then that’s his business, but you’ll know where you stand in future, won’t you? Sometimes it takes a crisis to see who our real allies are.