‘I concern her lengthy distance lover is faux AI slop however she says I’m merely jealous’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Too good to be true

My beautiful mate’s new lover seems too good to be true. She gushes about the great (virtual) sex they enjoy, and I feign interest. She tells me he’s planning to visit and I don’t believe her.

They’ve never actually met. Theirs is an on-line relationship. He lives on the other side of the world, while she’s here.

I’ve seen two pictures of him, and both seem faked. Too perfect in a cheesy airline pilot sort of way. They look like AI to me.

She brags that he’s got a brilliant job earning loads of money, so why does he keep asking her to send cash? In the short time she’s known him he’s got her to send ‘loans’ for his nephew’s education and his mother’s new knee. The other night I got her to admit that she’s also sent money for his air tickets and visas, but I don’t think he exists let alone has any plans to rock up here.

She makes all sorts of excuses for him. She says that his job is highly sensitive, that’s why they can only communicate via email. When I point out that ‘he’ is probably a gang of crooks in a back street cyber cafe somewhere she accuses ME of being spiteful and jealous – because I’m single and she’s not.

But it’s not like that. I’m concerned about her.

I want to protect her because I know she inherited money from her late parents and is desperate for love and attention. But I worry about pressing her too hard for details in case she clams up and pushes me away. I’m not being big-headed but feel I’m the only person between her and total ruination and disappointment. What’s my next move?

JANE SAYS: I very much doubt is this person exists either, there is probably someone, on a devise somewhere, who is conning several people at the same time. Sadly, many vulnerable individuals across the world are lured in and exploited by unscrupulous con artists who use every trick in the book to woo and then fleece.

The sad truth is that your friend is deluded and is chasing a dream. Left to his own devices her scammer won’t stop until he has robbed her of every penny in her account. She’s now invested so much in this dream – from her cash to her credibility – that, her pride won’t allow her to admit that something stinks worse than ‘his’ fashion sense…

If she won’t listen to you, then is there someone else you could ask to speak to her? A mature friend? GP? Someone she’ll listen to and respect. The reality is that she’s the victim here and she needs protecting. She can’t possibly believe that she’s going to plan a future with someone she hasn’t even met. Beg her to wake up. Ultimately, she’s got to end this charade and report this villain to the authorities. She should check out crimestoppers-uk.org re: Romance Fraud.

Vow to support her in putting her life back together again and finding genuine love right here. Sadly, it’s possible that your friendship may not survive this trauma but sitting back and saying/doing nothing isn’t an option.

Under pressure

My parents won’t accept that I’m NOT gay.

I’m a sensitive, thoughtful guy who likes sex with girls. But they are convinced I should be dating guys; they insist the right one simply hasn’t come along yet.

How do I convince them of my heterosexuality when I’m something of a lady killer and goer on the quiet?

JANE SAYS: Thank your parents for their input – then tell them to put a sock in it. Your sex life is your business and it’s not for anyone to speculate or push you in a particular direction. I don’t understand why they feel the need to express an opinion.

Concentrate on being kind and considerate towards to the women you fancy. Always practice safe sex by using a condom and be responsible.