‘It’s a fishy enterprise – associates say my accomplice is dishonest on me along with her boss’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Forewarned
On a recent golfing holiday to Devon, my mate got drunk during a fish supper and announced that my partner has been sleeping with her boss ‘for years’.
Now I’m home and worry that he might be right.
She is very secretive about her social life and has ‘friends’ that I’ve never met.
Plus, we rarely have sex. She pushes me away and says that she’s ‘not in the mood’.
How do I approach this?
JANE SAYS: Level with your partner about your fears and physical needs.
If you’re not having sex, then she needs to understand that this is not a satisfactory state of affairs for you. What is she thinking and feeling?
Is there anything she’d like to tell you? Is this the time you both start being honest about who you are and what the future holds? Turn detective if you need to. I urge you not to waste any more precious time.
On a whim
My best friend got married – and didn’t invite me. I’m devasted. I consider her my sister. She lived with me throughout the whole of 2020.
I was there for her in 2022 after she was involved in a car accident and I lent her money in 2023.
Now she’s insisting that she and her bloke ‘married on a whim’ but I don’t believe it.
I suspect he deliberately convinced her to marry when they knew I would be in Spain. He’s always been jealous of our friendship.
Now they’re in Italy on honeymoon and all sorts of loved-up pictures are emerging on social media. I feel a fool. My boyfriend says I need to get over myself and stop making a fuss, but I’m allowed to be angry, aren’t I?
JANE SAYS: You’re upset, but you cannot take this issue personally. Not everyone wants the big wedding. The truth is that you’re not her sister, you’re a friend. If she and her new husband only wanted a certain kind of celebration, then you have to accept that. What you have to decide is whether this is a friendship breaker.
Do you feel your friend and her new husband are now set on a different path to you? She chose to marry him, and things will have to be different in future. What about prioritising your own relationship and happiness?
Scary gang
I don’t like the way my partner allows her daughters to carry on. One is 17 and the other is 18, yet they look and act years older. From revealing outfits to terrible attitudes, they genuinely scare me. The eldest has an older boyfriend and drinks too much.
The youngest hangs out with a scary gang who, I’m convinced, get up to antisocial behaviour. But my partner never criticises them; nothing is ever their fault.
If anything, she acts like their best friend.
How do I stop these brats from ruining our relationship?
JANE SAYS: Unfortunately, you are in a tricky position because the daughters are individuals in possession of free wills and, I doubt, if your input is desired.
Step back and allow your partner to raise her girls her own way. By supportive and loving, but don’t get involved in rows or dramas.
The good news is that they won’t be this young and irresponsible forever. Tell your partner that you love her and don’t want this trying period to come between you.
I realise that holding your tongue is frustrating, but the girls are not your own and as long as your partner is supporting and watching out for them, then that’s all that matters.
