‘No intercourse please – we’ll wait till our wedding ceremony evening to lastly have it’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Under siege
My girl and I don’t believe in sex before marriage.
We have agreed that we’ll wait until our March 2027 wedding night to consummate our relationship.
Stupidly, I mentioned this during a night out from work and now I find myself under siege. My stroppy colleagues are insistent that I’m making a big mistake.
They claim that unless I sleep with her, now, then I won’t know how good she is in bed.
They don’t understand how we can kiss and cuddle and then draw the line at anything more. This is now a daily conversation. How do I get them off my back?
JANE SAYS: You made a mistake when you let your guard down and discussed your private thoughts with your gossipy colleagues. Now you need to tell them that you no longer wish to go over this sensitive matter.
You’re an adult and you’ve chosen to conduct your relationship in a particular way. They’re not to worry about your sex life, as you and your girl know what you’re doing.
Sadly, if the comments persist, then you may have to go to your HR department or boss and ask that you’re left alone. You must always do what you feel is right for you.
He’s indifferent
My partner lives in a world of his own.
He used to get so jealous when I went drinking with friends. Now I can come and go as I please. He doesn’t even bother asking me who I’m with. The other week I went out from work.
I ended up going to a party on the other side of town and crashing there for the night. I was so drunk I forget to phone home.
I staggered in the next morning, and he didn’t even look up. I preferred being loved and cherished. Our sex life used to be exciting too. Now it’s routine and boring and I Iong for passion. How do I fire him back up again?
JANE SAYS: You can’t have it both ways; you can’t complain about your man being overprotective one minute and then fuss that he’s too complacent the next. If your sex life is boring, then talk to him about relighting the fire.
Is he depressed or unhappy? Does she complain that you no longer treat him with respect?
The truth is that most healthy relationships calm down after the craziness of the initial ‘honeymoon period’.
It could be that what you’re experiencing now is maturity and a normal sense of proportion – because he loves and trusts you. Either that; or maybe the opposite of love isn’t hate – it’s indifference?
Make the time to talk about everything on your mind.
