Boss banged on my door drunkenly demanding intercourse and shouting ‘I’m sexy’
Dear Jane, I’m sick of my revolting boss. She takes advantage of me every minute of the day. She steals my ideas, texts me at weekends and thinks nothing of behaving inappropriately at networking events.
One minute she’s bawling me out in the office for being everything from an idiot to a thorn in her side. The next she’s (drunkenly) begging me to bonk her in a mid-range hotel.
More than once she’s banged on my door during over night conferences screaming: “I’m horny”. Quite revolting. So far, I’ve managed to resist her ‘charms’. I’ve never so much as kissed her, but she’s a very hard woman to say ‘no’ to.
I never know where I stand from one minute to the next. Over the past 12 months I’ve been everything from her confidant to her personal shopper. I’ve cleared up her vomit (after boozy lunches with her mates) and saved her bacon in important meetings. She expects me to be on call all the time. I don’t have a job description because I’m expected to do anything and everything, she says.
Before the summer I sorted out an entire staff party, complete with awards and funny gifts. She praised me for being ‘brilliant’. Then, hours later, she was screaming at me because I hadn’t managed to get her niece work experience with a top law firm.
When I dared to point out that I have no influence at the firm concerned, she huffed that I should have made more of an effort to ‘cultivate contacts’
How am I supposed to live and work like this? She happily picks my brains then passes my thoughts off as her own and takes the credit. Our bosses think she’s a genius, but she’s a fraud. I know I should move on, but my confidence is in my boots.
JANE SAYS: Every day you stay in your bad boss’s shadow is another day wasted. Compile a list of everything you’re good at and everything you’ve achieved so far.
Then draw up a chart of all the jobs you’d like to do in all the places that take your fancy. You’ve got the work ethic and the experience, so why shouldn’t you branch out and take the world by storm? The sad reality is that familiarity has bred contempt.
As your useless boss no longer respects you, she takes advantage. Don’t do anything rash like giving in your notice this week but do start hatching a plan so that you have something positive and realistic to work towards and achieve. Don’t flatter yourself; she’d throw you on the scrapheap in a heartbeat if savings needed to be made. You’re clearly a motivated person with good ideas and natural talent.
Despite your crafty boss stealing all your thoughts, you’re still coming up with the goods and making your department a success.
But the health of her career is not your concern, and you must start putting yourself first. If you believe that she had taken advantage and acted inappropriately, then do you need to speak to someone higher up to her?
You’re never going to change your tricky boss, so start making forging your own path.
Don’t even think about loyalty because she’s never you any.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
