‘I’m a annoyed horny cougar – I’m determined to get my claws into younger flesh’
Dear Jane,
Saucy affair
I crave excitement and risky sex.
I’m done with behaving myself. Why should I work like stink and stay faithful to my boring partner when I’m desperate to break free and live?
My long-term partner is decent enough but there’s no denying that our sex life is predictable and boring. We’re more like brother and sister. I have several young admirers at work; they’ve told me that they love experienced, older women. They call me the ‘sexy cougar’.
I suspect a saucy affair will make me feel vital and vibrant again. Everyone else seems to be having a ball. Why not me?
JANE SAYS: Calm down because an ill-advised affair would cause hurt and suffering. Your partner would be devastated; your boss would be furious, and you’d be left filled with guilt and self-loathing. Why not put the pent-up energy you’re experiencing to better use with your partner?
Suggest to him that you reboot your relationship with a romantic weekend away, date nights and early bedtimes. If he’s not interested, then he needs to tell you why.
Sadly, if your relationship isn’t going to go the distance, then you’ll have the option to seek new lovers as a single woman. But be careful about being hasty and fool hardy. Think of your sexual health, your mental health and your reputation.
The twits
My husband’s sister and her husband are vile.
When they’re not fighting each other, they’re feuding with neighbours and workmates.
Inviting them to our 2023 wedding was a big mistake because all they did was drink and brawl.
Since then, I’ve refused to allow them into our house. They don’t come to our children’s birthdays or our parties. Now my husband is insisting we invite them back into the fold again because his mum is ill.
He wants us to host a massive family reunion before she dies. I’m furious. How dare he foist his revolting relatives on me when he knows what they’re capable of?
JANE SAYS: Your husband is in a difficult position. He wants to please his ailing mother, but that means including his appalling brother and sister-in-law in the mix.
Blood has a very powerful pull. Can he get an assurance from his sister that they’ll behave themselves this time? Can they grow up for the sake of a sick woman?
Is alcohol the problem? Do you need to run a dry party?
Talk about the venue. Why does it have to be in your house? What about a local hall? Keep talking.
It’s admirable that he’s attempting to do something enjoyable for his mother, but this party idea must be planned and carefully managed if you’re not to experience a repeat performance of your wedding.
Excess energy
My girlfriend does everything to excess. From drinking and spending to party drugs and sugar, she’s a mess and I don’t know how long we can hold it together.
Our finances are a disaster; we haven’t looked at a bill or opened an official looking email in weeks, and the flat is a state. I love her but can’t relate to or understand her energy.
JANE SAYS: Take control before you lose everything. Grab some bin bags and tackle the mess. Things will be more manageable in a clean environment.
Make sorting out your financial paperwork the priority. Check out nationaldebtline.org for help. Your girl must be encouraged to seek support (via her GP) for her behaviour.
Can family members also listen and assist? Neither of you can go on like this.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
