‘Sex with my boss was phenomenal however now he is made me a proposal I can not refuse’
Dear Jane,
Luxury hotels
Over the summer my boss and I went a bit crazy.
We got drunk and had sex at work-based events. We first snogged at a leaving party. Then we groped and fumbled during a staff ‘bonding’ weekend. Finally, we enjoyed full sex during our chief executive’s 50th birthday party.
He owns a place by the sea.
We broke away, crept into his posh summer house, and stripped naked. The resulting sex was phenomenal.
Now my boss/lover is demanding a full-blown affair and says he’ll make it worth my while… He’ll give me a pay rise and more flexible working hours so that we can meet up in the day at luxury hotels.
He’s married and I’ve been with my childhood sweetheart forever. What if it all gets out of hand? He says he’ll protect me from office gossip but how can he promise that? It feels like I’m being made an offer I can’t refuse…
I worry that if I say ‘no thanks’ then he’ll find an excuse to fire me. Reasoning with him isn’t an option. He’s utterly ruthless and used to getting his own way. He thinks he’s doing me a massive favour and that I should feel grateful and flattered.
I’ve met his wife and she’s successful in her own right. I’m worried that she’ll destroy me if she finds out about our affair. In many ways she’s even more intimidating than he is.
Then there’s my own partner who is ordinary and has no ambition but isn’t a bad person – and probably doesn’t deserve this. Yet, the prospect of more money and, I must admit it, some edgy sex in luxury hotels room IS tempting…
JANE SAYS: Do not cross that line. There’s absolutely no way that you can meet your boss in a hotel room for sex.
This all must end right here. The fact is that you’ve been playing a silly game for a long time and alcohol is no excuse.
You’d be a fool to start a full-blown sexual affair with your boss, or any other person. You’re in an established relationship with your partner and, therefore, not free to play around. It doesn’t matter how tame or unambitious your partner is, he deserves your loyalty.
Does your partner deserve the full truth, from your lips? I think he does. As for your boss, he needs to hear that you regret behaving like an idiot. Can you and he carry on in a purely professional manner?
Explain to him that you’ve come to your senses and had a change of heart because your affair isn’t fair on his wife or your partner and, will inevitably, end badly.
Sadly, if he turns nasty, then you’ll have to confide in a good friend about what to do next. Remember that no one is entitled to threaten or intimidate you. Do you believe you’ve been badly treated or coerced in any way? Check out acas.org.uk for information and advice.
I get the impression you need to turn your life around and take back control. If alcohol is an on-going problem, then check out alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk.
Be prepared to take responsibility for your actions but speak out if you feel you’re being pressurised or bullied.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
