‘My man loves kinky romps however will not let me meet his pals or household’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who doesn’t understand why her man is so secretive and reluctant to commit
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Cold cold heart
My guy likes a lot of kinky sex, but he won’t let me into his heart. He expects me to do anything he fancies in the bedroom, but I’ve never met his family or friends and know nothing of his dating history.
Things are particular tough at this time of year because he disappears from the 24th to January 3rd. I’m not allowed to contact him or ask what he’s doing. He once hinted that he’s not married or in a serious relationship but there’s clearly someone else in his life that I’m not allowed to know about. I’d like us to live together but any time I suggest getting serious he shuts me down.
How do I ensure that 2026 is better for me?
JANE SAYS: Why don’t you take yourself out of this situation, while you consider who you are and what you want out of life? I hate the idea of you chasing after this man and waiting on his calls. Sadly, if he’s not interested in depth and commitment, then is he right for you?
Not everyone is looking for a life partner, but if you are, then you can’t waste time or sell yourself short.
When you’re feeling stronger you need to ask him why you’ve never met his family and what his long-term plans are. Is there something specific about his past that you need to know? Ultimately, you cannot allow yourself to be used for sex or casual company.
She’s scared
I recently caught my sister in floods of tears. She sobbed that she was a ‘idiotic fool’. She has been sending pictures and films of herself to a guy over the Internet. She thought he was serious about her. But he’s demanding increasingly explicit images and directing certain sexual acts. I fear she is a victim of Sextortion.
Now he’s saying that he also wants money and says that unless she does what he says he’ll go public – to her boss and our parents – with everything. How can I help her when she’s clamming up?
JANE SAYS: Your sister must understand that she is a victim. She must stop communicating with this person (or persons) and not pay a penny. Sadly, individuals aren’t always who they say they are.
Sextortion (or webcam blackmail) is often organised by crime groups mostly based overseas. Check out the nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk who have posted advice on this subject such as: Don’t pay, do stop contact and block and avoid deleting anything. Support your sister by reporting this matter to the police.
Anyone can be victims of this crime, that’s why we must be so careful about who we befriend and trust online.
Phone alone
My neighbour is addicted to her phone. I’m a carer for my ailing husband. I meet my neighbour for a coffee for one hour every Thursday. Recently we sat down in our favourite cafe, and she immediately accepted a call from her daughter, which went on for 30 minutes. Why is she so rude?
JANE SAYS: You can’t allow this person to waste your precious time. Reach out to other friends and relatives and cultivate a new circle. Make sure you’re getting all the support and help you’re entitled to.
Are you entitled to respite care? Don’t be shy about asking for – and accepting – help because you deserve a life. Check out ‘Carers’ breaks and respite care’ at nhs.uk.
