Weirdest England World Cup 2026 squad photographs as Harry Kane ‘seems bored’ and John Stones ‘fumes’

The England World Cup squad official portraits are out – and they are bizarre. While the set of around 630 images features the usual images of stars pointing at badges or pretending to celebrate, or event looking down the camera as if they’re posing for a “line-up” graphic, there are some images that have left many people at Daily Star towers baffled.

The first strange image that we noticed was Crystal Palace goalkeeper who looks as if he’s spent sleepless nights either being haunted by a demon or like he’s seen things that would shock you. The man looks . . . creeped out.

Now-former Manchester City defender John Stones has one hand cupped to his ear, which is fine until you look at his face and realise he’s internally very angry about something – we’re just not sure why.

Captain Harry Kane looks bored. Just really, really bored. In one striking image, he’s sitting down with his head in his left hand just seemingly trying not to fall asleep. Maybe Thomas Tuchel’s team talks aren’t that great?

Declan Rice has neck problems – why else would he be rubbing it? It’s such a bizarre pose, and we’re not entirely sure why he’s been told to do it. Self-massage, maybe?

Back to Harry Kane, who’s either trying to read your mind, or the image of just his face is hiding the fact he’s straining to use the toilet. Meanwhile, Nico O’Reilly either can’t smile, is grimacing on purpose or has smelled something the really didn’t want to

It’s another image where you just have to wonder what on earth the photographer was telling him to do to make that expression. Golden boy Bukayo Saka is just happy to be there. You can’t say anything dodgy about the lad who has the entire hopes of a nation on his shoulders, and is grinning so happily in every image taken of him.

A bit like Tino Livramento, who very much has the look of a bloke who doesn’t know why he’s there but is clearly just enjoying the ride . . . And then there’s Dan Burn. Newcastle’s big centre back who has been caught daydreaming – presumably about finishing in mid-table in the Premier League once again next season.

Gaffer Thomas Tuchel has the facial expression of a kid in school who knows he’s set the perfect prank and is just waiting for it to happen. Marcus Rashford is looking off in the distance for some reason – probably trying to spot the far off destination he’ll be playing at next season, because it won’t be Old Trafford.

Morgan Rodgers – who this reporter things could be the key to England’s hopes – couldn’t decide on his pose so went with the “pull and point,” which is quite impressive. Jude Bellingham also has neck problems . . .

As does Elliot Anderson. And to round off, Morgan Roders is back and he wants to have a stern word with your parents.