‘My spouse and my mistress have joined forces in opposition to me after I despatched an unintended nude’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Soap opera
I’m having sex with two women. One is my mistress and one is my wife. I’d happily carry on with this arrangement until my dying day; only they’ve got together and are ganging up on me. Basically, they are demanding I choose one over the other and I’m struggling to make that decision.
Why does my life have to be so narrow and rigid? Why can’t I simply do what I want and have a great time? My lover of three years wants travel, a flash apartment and a luxury, champagne lifestyle.
Meanwhile, my wife is insisting I come home full-time and stop mucking about. Both look great and are good in bed. My lover is experimental and daring whereas my wife is loving and steady.
They also give me different things in other areas. For example; my lover is no cook whereas my wife whips up amazing dishes in the kitchen.
My wife has no sense of humour- whereas my lover is a good laugh.
My lover loves dancing, music and attending festivals, while my wife enjoys musical theatre and the soaps. You get the picture?
My wife first found out about my affair when I accidentally sent her a sexually explicit message and picture of my naked self, by mistake.
At first she was reasonable and said that she’d give me two weeks to sort everything out. Only it’s now two months down the line and I’m still no closer to making a decision. Meanwhile, the two women have made contact and I’m being pulled in two, different directions.
The problem is that if I leave my wife, then the house will have to be sold. A divorce will cost a fortune plus I’ll be obliged to give her half of my pension. Why can’t she simply turn a blind eye and pretend nothing is happening like they do in other cultures?
JANE SAYS: Life isn’t always fair. Other men and women may achieve open marriages and three-way relationships; but if your wife and mistress aren’t interested in sharing you, then you’re stuffed. You find yourself at a crossroad and have to decide which way to go. Ultimately, I can’t tell you who to live with, because only you know what’s in your head and your heart. Maybe neither of these women are actually right for you and you need to think again.
But I do warn you to be cautious and think carefully because they both sound like determined, strong individuals. It could be that you find yourself being cast out by both of them with nothing to show for yourself. Clearly the prospect of divorce has focused your mind.
Yes, divorce brings with it the prospect of financial hardship. Your wife will be entitled to her fair share of the assets (including your pension) due to the legal nature of your marriage and all the years she has spending loving and supporting you. That’s the law.
Take some time out, away from the pair of them, and really think about where you’re at. You cannot play with people’s lives. The world is not your playground.
Know it all
My newish girlfriend keeps telling me what to wear, how to act in public and even how to do my job.
At a recent dinner at my boss’s house she stormed at me to stop drinking and said I was holding my knife and fork wrong. I was livid and my boss’s face was a picture. Even his uptight wife took my side and topped up my glass.
JANE SAYS: You could argue that your girl has your best interests at heart and was merely trying to guide and protect you at your boss’s dinner. However, if you feel she’s become a control freak and you don’t like how she talks to you, then walk away before things get nasty.
Why can’t she love you for being you? Why the pressing need to change you?
