Woman, 25, thought her man was completely different – however she was left abused and crushed

A mum who was abused by her violent ex says she “probably would have ended up dead” if she “didn’t get out when I did”. Jordina Dowdells, 25, has bravely opened up about her ordeal at the hands of heavy drinker Adam Gates, 27.

He is now behind bars after subjecting her to his vile outbursts throughout their two-and-a-half year relationship. Gates left her with a broken bone and fearing for her life.

Jordina, of Pontardawe, Wales, has spoken about what happened to encourage others to report domestic abuse and seek help. She told WalesOnline: “Phone the police. I’ve always said that if I didn’t get out when I did, I probably would have ended up dead.

“If you have that gut feeling where you know you need to leave, then that’s the right thing to do. It’s probably the best thing I did.” The pair had known each of other for years before their relationship began in 2023, she said.

Jordina added: “At the start he was fine, I genuinely thought I could spend the rest of my life with him. He was really nice and caring. He was completely different at the start.”

A few months into the relationship she said she discovered she was pregnant, with the baby being born in April 2024. But, throughout her pregnancy, Jordina said she noticed Gates become increasingly angry towards her.

The issue intensified when they began living together around the time their baby was born. She said: “He didn’t help me with the baby or anything, I was doing everything – all the night feeds and changing nappies. He wouldn’t help me around the house. I felt like a slave to be honest.

“He would go out every Friday after work and come home, waking us both up and shouting at me. He would call me names like fat, ugly and useless. There were a few times when I ended up leaving and going to stay with my mother.”

In December 2024 his behaviour came to a head when he violently attacked her. It was so serious that it resulted in an elbow fracture and left her “screaming in pain”. She said he “got up, threw me to the floor and broke my elbow”. Jordina added: “I had to go to the hospital the next day. I was literally screaming in pain and I couldn’t move my arm even a centimetre . I was in so much pain.”

She said Gates doesn’t usually apologise to her, but on this occasion he did. Jordina said it felt difficult to leave him afterwards because she so desperately wanted their baby to have a family unit. She said: “Personally for me we share a daughter together. I wanted that family unit and I didn’t want my daughter to come from a broken home. We had a house together and I thought: ‘Where am I going to live with my daughter?'”

But that wasn’t the only time Gates attacked Jordina. On another occasion he pushed her off a bed, leaving her with bruises up her arm. She said: “I can’t even remember why. He had probably come home drunk because that’s normally when it would escalate.”

A further terrifying incident in October 2025 resulted in Jordina calling the police and the relationship ending for good. She said: “Time was getting on and I could tell he had started to get tipsy. I said: ‘Can we please go home? It’s [the baby’s] bed time. He said: ‘Why don’t you go home, and I stay here?'”

Jordina said she went home with the baby, with Gates arriving home 30 minutes later. She said: “I heard him going straight into the living room,” she said. “He called me and said: ‘Jor, can you come and help me with this game on my PlayStation?’ I said: ‘No, I’m putting [the baby] to bed.'”

She said her bank account was connected to the PlayStation, and that Gates would pay her for any games he bought. But on this occasion she said she didn’t have enough money in that account.

“I could hear him saying to himself: ‘I’m going to lose my head now,'” Jordina said. “Then I heard him stomping up the stairs and I thought ‘here we go’. I had a gut feeling something was going to happen.”

Jordina said Gates took the baby from her bed and went downstairs with her. When Jordina asked and tried to get the baby back, she said Gates became increasingly aggressive. By this point Jordina said she had already texted a family member for help who was on their way to the house. As she tried to ring another family member, Jordina said Gates took her phone from her.

She said: “I was crying asking him to give my phone back and he was mocking me. He then threw my phone at a wall and the screen broke.” After that Jordina said she left the house with the baby and went to stay with family. The following morning she reported Gates’ behaviour to the police which led to his arrest days later.

Gates, of Ystalyfera, later pleaded guilty to grievous bodily harm, actual bodily harm and criminal damage. He was sentenced at Swansea Crown Court on July 14 to 90 weeks in prison to be served immediately.

In mitigation it was heard how Gates is impacted by the death of his father nine years ago, and that he has dealt with that in a “wholly inappropriate way”.

Jordina said she is pleased to see Gates behind bars, but that his abuse continues to haunt her. She said: “I’ve had so many dreams of him strangling me, shouting at me. It’s literally something I think of from the minute I wake up to the second I go to sleep at night.

“I think about it all the time and it’s been months now [since I left].”

However, she said she is finally able to move on with her life and look forward to the future. She said: “I feel like I am finally at peace. Throughout that whole relationship I was constantly walking on eggshells every single day.

“I no longer have someone going at me all the time, and I’m able to do my own thing, I’ve got my own money and I can do what I want when I want. I just feel free and it’s really nice.”

If you have been affected by issues of domestic violence or coercive control you can call Refuge’s 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free. The number is 0808 2000 247