‘I can not cease bonking the ugly brute who lives reverse – he is like sexual cat nip’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Dirty secret
I’m obsessed with the thug who lives opposite. This guy is rough, tough and foul-mouthed. He swaggers around the neighbourhood like he owns the place, but he makes me go weak at the knees. A few months ago, he stormed up to my front door and screamed at me for parking my car too close to his van.
I invited him in to talk about it and within three seconds we were snogging on the stairs and ripping each other’s clothes off. The sexual electricity was phenomenal, and the resulting romp was off the scale. Now he pops over whenever his wife is out shopping and my partner is out at work. We can’t keep our hands off each other.
He’s not attractive, charming or kind. He never pays me compliments or cares about my orgasms. I’m well aware that he uses me for sex just as much as I use him. I live for our grubby, loveless action. I get hot and horny just imagining how he’ll throw me on the bed and get stuck in.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I hate myself for being so base and weak, yet these illicit trysts are the stuff of my fantasies. They are what I live for.
Recently, the teenager who lives next door winked at me in the corner shop and muttered: “I know all about your dirty secret. I hear you all the time”.
So now I’m paranoid and feel scared and guilty too, but not guilty enough to show my lover the door. What’s wrong with me? Why do I make life so difficult for myself? I’m terrified that I’m going to be named and shamed. The weird thing is that this bloke is the complete opposite of my partner who is gentle, reasonable and kind.
JANE SAYS: In any close-knit community, the curtains are twitching all the time. People see and hear all sorts of things. Even if the cheeky teenage next door doesn’t squeal then someone else will.
You’re playing with fire. You’ll end up being shamed and exposed. Then there’s the matter of your sexual health. How can you be sure that your revolting lover isn’t sleeping with a host of other people too? just imagine how furious his wronged wife is going to be.
How is getting dirty with this sleaze ball doing anything for your self-esteem or emotional well being?
You admit it yourself; you hate yourself after every one of your encounters, so why put yourself through this? Every time you allow him through your front door you put your own decent, honest relationship in jeopardy.
Be under no illusion; your long-term partner will end up hearing about this, because gossip this juicy always comes out. I urge you to turn your life around right now.
Don’t have sex with your neighbour again; find something worthwhile to do in your spare time and think about telling your partner the truth. I know it’s a gamble, but doesn’t he deserve better than this?
Cool it
During a family lunch my sister-in-law threw a drink in my face. She said I was annoying her with my political views. She said I needed to ‘shut up and cool down’.
My mother-in-law laughed, my husband went crazy and we all stormed out. Now where do we go when the whole family is split in two?
JANE SAYS: Nothing gave your sister-in-law the right to attack you and she now needs to apologise.
You and your husband need to ask for a meeting on neutral ground to discuss this – and your mother-in-law needs to keep her nose out.
Sadly, if your sister-in-law refuses to back down or accept she acted inappropriately then maybe you need to keep your distance from her until she finally grows up.
