‘My finest good friend sleeps with one other lady – I had a proper to know and I really feel betrayed’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Secrets and lies
My best friend has been keeping secrets from me. I’ve just discovered that she’s been sleeping with a female lover two years. Why didn’t she tell me this herself? Suddenly, I don’t know her. We’ve always told each other everything and now I feel humiliated and betrayed.
All those times she cooed after everyone from Brad Pitt to Harry Styles with me were all a sham. My boyfriend tells me to get over it, but nothing has been real because she’s chosen to lie.
JANE SAYS: Remember that your mate is an individual and her private life is her business. Yes, you’ve shared certain moments and experiences, but you have your life and she has hers.
Presumably she doesn’t quiz you every time you go to bed with your guy so how is her sex life any concern of yours? Your chap is right; you must step back and respect her right to privacy. She’s still the same person you’ve always known, and she doesn’t have to justify herself to anyone.
No doubt you now feel that your friendship has entered a new era, but you can’t judge or dominate her.
Make friends with her again; apologise for crossing a line and recognise her for the kind, unique pal she is.
Ghosts at the feast
Our May 2027 wedding is turning into a nightmare.
Not only are my girl’s parents insisting that 30 of their friends be invited, but they’ve also put three of her ex-boyfriends on the list.
Costs are spiralling, tensions are rising and I’ve just about had enough of it.
Apparently, all the friends and ex-boyfriends ‘have’ to be invited because my girl grew up with them.
My girl suspects that her Dad owes a lot of people a lot of money and this is one way of keeping a few of them sweet.
I’m in this relationship for a healthy, honest future. I love my girl but am having endless sleepless nights.
JANE SAYS: I suggest you go back to your girlfriend and rethink this whole thing. How about a smaller ceremony, with just immediate family, somewhere intimate?
Explain how you feel about the ex-lovers so that she knows exactly where you stand. But you also need to bear in mind that you won’t just be marrying your girlfriend, you’ll be marrying INTO her family.
Even if the ex-lovers aren’t invited to a smaller wedding, your in-laws might wish to include them in future events.
Do you really love your girl enough or do I detect the whiff of second thoughts? Keep talking to her about what is important and don’t allow anyone else to bully or intimidate you.
