‘I bonked the bride and bragged about it – now I’ve been banned from the stag do’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
I’m a loser
I’m the only guy in our gang not being invited to an upcoming stag do and December wedding. Eight of us follow the same football team around the country.
I’m being snubbed because I slept with the bride in 2023. She and I hooked up on a holiday and enjoyed a short, intense fling. She met my mate (the groom) two years later. I admit that I did kiss-and-tell. I bragged about our fling for a long time afterwards because I was proud of having bedded such a hotty. I know I annoyed her. She accused me of humiliating her and breaking a confidence.
Consequently they’ve decided they don’t want any ex-lovers involved in their celebrations. How is this fair?
The stag weekend sounds like a right laugh.
Other mates are ribbing me, calling me a loser.
I’ve slept with loads of girls since her, and now have a partner, who cares about the past?
JANE SAYS: You need to back off and let this go.
You can’t allow your hurt feelings to overwhelm you.
Retain your dignity and organise other activities over the stag weekend and on the wedding day itself.
The bride and groom can have anyone they like to their own wedding, especially if the budget is tight and numbers are limited.
If they’ve imposed a strict ‘no ex-lovers’ rule, then that’s that. Tell your other mates that you’re fine and don’t allow them to wind you up again.
Whether your friendship with the groom survives this snub remains to be seen. It often happens that mates move in different directions once hitched. Perhaps you also need to understand that kissing and tellng is never cool.
Killing with kindness
My brother and his girlfriend are taking over our spacious home.
They’re lovely people – almost too lovely…
Every night I come home, and they’ve cooked a beautiful meal. I discover that the washing is all done, and my bathroom is gleaming.
Recently my guy and returned from holiday to find they had redecorated our front room and sorted out my clothes – there was even a bag of stuff for the charity shop. We now want them gone.
They arrived in May and were only supposed to stay for a couple of weeks. But it’s difficult to ask them to move on when they keep doing amazingly thoughtful things. Help.
JANE SAYS: Don’t get angry; start talking. Pick your moment and explain that you’ve loved having them around – and are grateful for everything they’ve done – but it’s time for things to go back as they were.
You need your space back and they need to find somewhere of their own. What are their options? How can you support and help them?
I worry that they’ve become too comfortable and unless you act now, then habits and expectations will become set in stone, and you’ll never shift them. You are not responsible for their housing or comfort.
