‘My man is hooked on bonking in public – the grimmer the place, the hornier he will get’
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Knickers to that
My guy likes sex in public places. He gets a kick out of taking risks. No underground car park or public toilet is out of bounds when he’s around. He thinks it’s edgy to pull me into a dark corner when no one is looking.
He rips off my knickers and then gets hugely turned on when he can hear someone walking nearby.
He likes the sexual experience to be as grotty as possible and yawns when I suggest romantic dates or an early night in bed.
I swear he deliberately seeks out locations so that he can tick them off a personal list.
Over the summer we travelled to Turkey and Tenerife, and we had a fumble on every flight and on every beach.
I live in fear of being caught but he insists it’s all ‘just a bit of fun’. Is it?
JANE SAYS: It’s not a bit of fun if your boyfriend is coercing you and you don’t enjoy it. He may have a private agenda regarding sex in as many smelly places as possible, but you don’t have to go along with his fetish.
Remind him that, according to Section 71 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003, it is an offence to indulge in sexual activity in a lavatory to which the public has access. If caught he and YOU could be looking at a fine and/or up to six months in prison.
Stand up for yourself and tell him that you’re done and walk away. This guy is no good for you and sounds as if he’d benefit from professional counselling.
One rule for him
My boyfriend doesn’t believe in splashing his money about. He doesn’t buy birthday or Christmas presents. He argues that modern life is too commercial.
Last Christmas I got him a watch and a cashmere sweater. He simply plucked a tangerine (out of his mother’s fruit bowl) tossed it at me and jeered: “Here”. I was very upset.
I’ve just celebrated my 25th and he didn’t even give me a card. My sister spits he’s not principled, simply stingy. Any money he has, he spends on himself. He’s about to turn 30, dare I pull the same stunt on him?
JANE SAYS: I suspect this man will continue to frustrate and annoy you the longer you stay together. It already sounds like he’s getting on your wick. Clearly, he thinks he’s a very clever, funny guy but he sounds childish and selfish.
You need to weigh up if he is generous and kind enough in other ways. Would he do anything for you or is he only out for himself? What if you found yourself in a serious situation? Would he put his own interests second and step up for you?
I think it might be time to re-access this whole relationship.
Big baby
My newish boyfriend and I have just moved in together. The problem is that he doesn’t like to share. He deliberately buys food that he knows I don’t like, so that he can have it all to himself. It’s the same with booze and even basics like toothpaste.
How do I get him to grow up?
JANE SAYS: There are always teething problems in a new set up. But your petty guy needs to hear that you’re not out to pinch his sweets…
What part of couple doesn’t he understand? Insist on establishing middle ground regarding meals and funding. Set up a joint account for food, utilities, and basics etc into, which you both put an equal amount each month.
Is he happy living with you?
