‘We had sordid intercourse simply as soon as throughout my unhealthy boy days – now her husband is gunning for me’

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Drunken sex ’till dawn

I’m being blamed for the breakdown of a marriage. This has got nothing to do with me. The husband of a woman I used to work with has tracked me down. He wants my guts for garters.

He’s angry and full of resentment. He says they’re getting divorced. She’s announced that she no longer loves him because she’s in love with ME.

This is crazy. I vaguely remember her. We collaborated on a big project back in 2024. At the end of it our old boss took a gang of us out for a slap-up meal – and she and I ended up in a hotel room. We had drunken sex until dawn. It was horny, naughty and hot and we had fun.

I didn’t even know she was married because she never mentioned it. In the morning we went our separate ways.

I was head hunted a short time later and moved to Texas. Now I’m back in my home town and feeling the heat.

The husband storms that his wife is still infatuated with me. He says I have to do something; I must tell her that I’m not interested and insist she returns home to him. But what has any of this got to do with me?

A lot has happened since I was last here and I don’t think I’d even recognise her if I passed her in the street. I’ve stopped drinking and my ‘bad boy’ past is a bit of blur.

But, he reckons, this woman has never got over me and feels she can’t continue being married to him because of it. I feel as though I’m being stalked. He keeps stopping me in the street and finding me in pubs.

The latest thing is that he wants me to talk some sense into his wife. He feels that if she hears from me that I don’t love her, then she’ll go back to him, and everything will be fine again. How do I get it through his thick skull that I don’t want to be involved?

JANE SAYS: You need to get tough. You have to explain to the husband that these marital woes are nothing to do with you. You aren’t prepared to speak to your ex-colleague; and don’t wish to have any more contact with either of them.

Warn him that you now believe that you’re being harassed and stalked – and aren’t willing to put up with either. Make it clear that you will go to a solicitor or even the police if he or she troubles you again.

Unfortunately, you find yourself in the middle of some serious marital crossfire. A desperate husband wants you to speak to his adamant wife about returning to the family home.

Meanwhile, the wife is saying that you are the only man for her, despite you and she not seeing or speaking to each other for ages. You must be asking yourself what you’ve done to deserve this.

My gut feeling is that your ex-colleague is simply using you as an excuse to get out of an unhappy marriage, because she’s too cowardly (or even frightened) to tell her husband that she no longer loves him.

She’s plucked your name out of the air. I just don’t believe that she’s been secretly in love with you all this time.

There’s something weird going on and I very much doubt if you’re hearing the full story.

Stand firm, share this trauma with friends and family and don’t allow anyone to get to you.

Sadly, you may have to involve the authorities if this situation gets nasty.