‘Sex-mad mum has gone wild bonking everywhere – I’m disgusted together with her’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who doesn’t understand why his bereaved mum is painting the town red
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Widow’s fire
My Mum won’t stop having sex with strangers. I’m ashamed of her. Her partner only died in August but she’s like a sex mad teenager. Admittedly she and her partner never married or even lived together but I do think she should be showing a little more decorum and restraint. In the past couple of weeks, she’s had wild nights with a neighbour, strangers and even a guy who was in my class at school! I’m mortified.
Every time I tell her to ‘cool it’ she tells me that life is for living. I get that but does she really have to be so inappropriate?
JANE SAYS: Give your mum a break. The chances are she’s been through much more than you realise. She’s a grown woman and I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.
Have you ever heard of ‘widow’s fire’?
The definition is: “An intense sexual desire that can occur after the death of a partner, sometimes as a natural part of the grieving process’.
You have no way of knowing how things were with her partner or how she’s feeling today. Of course, she should be encouraged to practise safe sex (always with a condom) and take care of her physical safety. But, beyond that, tell her that she’s loved because she needs to find her own way forward.
He expects sex pics
A couple of weeks ago I got sick of my lover ignoring me, so I took the initiative. I turned up at his office in my sexiest outfit. I announced that I’d booked a romantic weekend away. I promised him great sex and unlimited booze. He went nuclear. He bundled me out of the building hissing: “What are you playing at?” Now he’s left me in no doubt that our ‘relationship’ will only ever be conducted on his terms.
He calls the shots. End of.
He still sends me explicit pictures of himself and encourages me to do the same. How is this fair?
JANE SAYS: Surely your eyes were opened the day your lover physically bundled you into the street. You assumed your affair was headed in one direction (i.e. towards a more committed relationship), but he left you in no doubt that your appearance at his office was unwelcome and crossed a line. Is he already married? It’s heartbreaking to hear that you’ve spent so much time waiting for someone you know so little about – and who continues to demand thrills. Don’t waste any more energy on him when you’re worth so much more than this.
Unfunny honeymoon
I’m just back from my honeymoon. All my new husband did was push me in the pool and start food fights. He thought it was funny to prank me and wind me up.
Ours was a whirlwind romance (we married after six months) now I worry I’ve made a huge mistake.
JANE SAYS: It sounds as if you hardly know your new husband at all. From pushing you in the pool to playing with food – where is the love or the respect? Don’t be too be proud to admit it if he’s not the one for you. Level with the guy, explain that you must hear where he’s coming from. Describe the kind of relationship you require Can you start again or do you need to cut your losses?
