If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Party central
I thought that moving into a flat share with an old schoolfriend and her two cousins would be a laugh.
But I’m in over my head with a bunch of hedonists who drink too much, enjoy risky sex and never get up until noon. My room is nice, the rent is reasonable and I can get to work easily.
But the atmosphere in the flat is wild. It’s like party central here. The problem is that none of them have regular jobs. One is an influencer; one is an escort and the third lives off rich man. Their parties are legendary and loud and I’m the only idiot getting up at 7am for a 9-5 office gig. I’m suffering from a lack of sleep, peace and quiet. I’m the sixth person to rent this room in two years and I’m not surprised why the others left. My three ‘roomies’ are nice enough but seriously hard-core caners.
The other weekend they held an impromptu bash.
Gorgeous girls turned up in skimpy lingerie, while horny guys strutted around in fetish gear. Couples drank, snogged and groped. Around midnight the whole thing erupted into a decadent love-in. Girls were on top of other girls; guys were stimulating each other. I couldn’t tell where one body ended and another began. I ran to my room in terror.
I was forced to run to my room and barricade myself in.
My sister understands the hell I’m going through. She says I need to swallow my pride and move back home to my Mum and Dad. But how can I?
My unpleasant, controlling ex-partner would love to hear that I’ve failed on my own. He always said I wouldn’t make it without him.
JANE SAYS: I get the impression that you grabbed this rented room on the rebound from your ex. You needed somewhere – anywhere – to stay and this was the first place you saw. But now that you’re getting back on your feet again you realise that this is not your scene.
You cannot live your life worrying about other people and you cannot be dragged down by your pride. If you’re not enjoying your new home; if you’re finding your flat mates too full on, then you must get out before you break down.
Obviously, it takes a particular kind of person to fit in with your ‘roomies’. Others have tried and failed and now you’re thinking about handing back your key. Your room may be cheap, but if living with these wacky people is doing your head in, then you need to admit defeat. Don’t compromise your standards or think yourself old-fashioned or prim. The fact of the matter is that you’re just very different to those around you. You don’t have to apologise for that.
I suggest you keep your head down until you can move on. As for worrying about your ex, forget it. You and he are no longer an item, and he can say anything he likes about you. If temporarily moving back with your parents equals stability and calm – in an environment where you can actually sleep and recover – then go for it.
There’s no shame in that.
When sparks fly
There’s no denying the spark between my sister’s new fella and me. Any time I go to see her he squeezes past me and makes naughty comments. I’ve got a great figure and frequently find him looking down my top.
A few times he’s mentioned me being a ‘bad girl’, which I’ve found a hugely arousing.
My boyfriend is guilty of neglecting me in the bedroom in favour of computer games.
Dare I take this thing further when I’m gagging for better sex and an adventure? I’m 28.
JANE SAYS: As I understand it; you’re in a relationship with your boyfriend and your sister is dating a new man. Therefore, it’s completely wrong of you to flirt, play games or push your luck.
My advice is to keep well out of your admirer’s way. If you can’t trust yourself in his company, then don’t go to your sister’s place again. Tell your boyfriend that you need things to change within your relationship. Are the two of you stuck in a rut? Is he as bored as you are?
Should you even stay together?
You sound like a woman with a lot of pent-up energy and passion. Life is for living and if you feel you’re squandering some of the best years of your life, then it’s up to you to fulfil your potential.
She blew it
My girlfriend is nagging me to move in with her, but I don’t want to. I live with two mates and do as I please. I’ve been with my partner for six years. She was married when we first me. She’s divorced now but I’m holding out. We see each other a couple of times a week and the subject of my living arrangement always comes up. The fact is that I did once ask her to be my bride and she wasn’t interested. As I see it, she had her chance and she blew it. I’m right, aren’t I?
JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend is no longer married. You must forget what happened in the past and decide whether you and she have a future. If you’re happy with the way things are (and she is too), then fine. But if she’s desperate for company and commitment, then you need to speak to her both honestly and openly. You must tell her that you’re no longer interested in living with her or tying the knot. If she’s still happy to carry on dating you on that basis, great. If she’s not, then you both need to think about where you go from here. I get the impression she’s running out of patience.
Thirsty work
My mum and dad are big boozers. They love wine, beers, cocktails – anything, really.
They have friends who are just as thirsty as they are. They regularly have parties where they all get completely ratted. I don’t think this is good, do you? Especially as both have had falls and health problems in recent times.
JANE SAYS: Getting drunk and behaving like a fool isn’t a good idea at any age. Research shows that excessive drinking carries serious health and safety risks. Talk to your folks and ask them to see things from your point of view. Make it clear that their drinking scares you. You love them and need them to be around for the future. Urge them to visit their GP as this is a problem that requires professional help.