A woman who was given hormone treatment and a double mastectomy on the NHS without being offered therapy, has said professionals were too quick to accept she wanted to become a man.
Aerin Bailey, 34, from Sheffield, Yorkshire, was born a girl called Alice, but aged 16 started to have thoughts about wanting to become male.
She said at the time she was confused because of lifelong struggles with forming friendships.
When she went to her GP to discuss her feelings, she was diagnosed with gender dysphoria after her second appointment and referred to a gender-identity clinic, which she attended two months later.
At the clinic she was given two questionnaires to fill out at home, and used information found on YouTube and via the charity Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) to fill in what she thought were the ‘right’ answers to secure hormones and surgery.
Within six months she was given male hormones and no therapy was offered beforehand.
Aged 18 she changed her name to Aaron, and had a double mastectomy aged 22 – all on the NHS – before being added to the waiting list for gender affirming surgery.
However, she quickly realised that she did not ‘feel right’ as a man either, but felt that she had to stick with it.
It was only after 15 ‘miserable’ years as a man that Aerin, then named Aaron, was diagnosed with autism in 2018, followed by an ADHD diagnosis in 2025.
She said she now realises she was never transgender – but was ‘an autistic female struggling with the discrimination faced by women’.
Aerin Bailey (pictured), 34, was born a girl, called Alice, and announced thoughts of transitioning to male aged 16 after lifelong struggles with friendships
Aerin pictured after transitioning to male. Aerin said she was referred to a gender-identity clinic and no therapy was offered
She detransitioned back to female in December 2024, changing her name to Aerin, and now finally feels happy in her body.
She wishes there had been more investigation into her original request to transition, and that her autism had been picked up sooner.
A study, Investigating gender dysphoria in autism spectrum disorder: clinical challenges and future perspectives (2023) discusses how core autistic traits could ‘mask or overlap’ with gender dysphoria.
Aerin, a trainee beauty therapist, said: ‘The whole investigation into changing my gender wasn’t thorough enough.
‘I was unwell with anxiety and low self esteem at the time and nothing was picked up on.
‘No individual or clinic was responsible for what happened, but as a whole the gender identity service in general let me down.
Aerin pictured as a child. She was born a girl and was named Alice
‘People just didn’t enquire enough about my decision, so I ended up living a lie and felt miserable.
‘All I did was fill out two assessment forms. I’d researched the answers so I knew what to say to get what I thought I wanted.
‘In reality I wasn’t trans. I was an autistic female struggling with the discrimination faced by women. If people had asked enough questions they might have picked up on my autism and ADHD.
‘I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until I was 26. I struggled all through school and nobody wondered why. I feel really let down by this.’
Aerin grew up with her mother, father, and older sister and said she always felt lonely in school. Her parents did not want her to change gender.
She said: ‘In infant’s school I just wanted to play on my own. By age nine I wanted to join in but nobody wanted to play with me. That was a very difficult time.
‘I wanted to socialise but had no idea how to do it.’
Aerin was bullied – deliberately left out of games she tried to join, and was called ‘the weird girl’ and people said she was ‘dramatic’.
Things felt even more difficult as a teen – Aerin struggled with things ‘men did’, like catcalling, from age 13.
She didn’t want to have boyfriends, so felt there was something wrong with her, and she began to question her gender.
She said: ‘I felt women were treated so unfairly by men, and I just didn’t seem to want what other girls wanted.
‘Instead of questioning it I thought the problem was me, I thought “maybe I’m a man, maybe I’m trans”.
‘Looking back it’s a strange conclusion to come to but it’s where my mind went. It felt like it might be a way out of all the confusion.’
Aerin, then 16, told her family about her plans to switch gender and they were supportive.
Aged 17 she went to her GP, filled out two forms, and was referred to a gender-identity clinic.
Aerin pictured as a teenager before transition. Now a trainee beauty therapist, she said: ‘The whole investigation into changing my gender wasn’t thorough enough’
Aerin was put on male hormones aged 18 and had a double mastectomy aged 22, in June 2014, at Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield.
‘I was a confused teenager,’ she said. ‘It was a mistake. I was so excited to get the male hormones, but when I looked in the mirror I didn’t feel right as a man either.
‘I’m so thankful that the long waiting list meant I never had the bottom surgery – I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I had gone through with it.’
Aerin, then Aaron, worked in a nursery, but still had the same struggles with friendships and relationships, but didn’t feel she could detransition back to female.
She said: ‘I felt I had to stick with it. Detransitioning felt too difficult and I wasn’t sure how people would react.’
‘But I didn’t feel right as a man, I knew quite soon that it had been a mistake.’
Aerin asked for an autism assessment after a family member was also diagnosed.
She said: ‘It just made sense, we share a lot of traits.’
Aerin went to the GP because she was feeling very anxious, particularly about food, and was diagnosed with anorexia in 2023.
In treatment Aerin made the decision to detransition and shaved off her beard in December 2024.
After consultation with a GP, she stopped taking the male hormones in January 2025, and got her periods back in six months. Aerin was diagnosed with ADHD in 2025.
She was recovered from the eating disorder in June 2025 and discharged from treatment in January 2026.
Aerin, who first shared her story via Sell Us Your Story, said: ‘My family were so scared and that helped me to engage with treatment.
‘I knew detransition had been in my mind for years. I thought, “well it will be hard but anorexia is harder”.
‘When my beard stopped growing back, things started to feel easier.
‘I just texted everyone I knew to tell them I was detransitioning and changed my clothes.
‘It was very awkward at first but I just pushed through. It’s very hard to find any information on detransitioning.
‘It was such a great feeling to get my periods back, I never knew someone could be so excited about a period.
‘I am now a happy confident woman. When I look in the mirror I am just happy to be me.
‘If I had known I had autism and ADHD I wouldn’t have gone through any of this.
‘I know it was my decision to transition to male, but I wish I’d had more help – it was gender roles I had issues with, not my own gender.
‘If you’re considering a gender transition think twice, talk about it as much as you can.
‘If you’re a woman and you feel like you don’t belong, this doesn’t mean you’re not a woman. If you’ve made a transition mistake detransition is possible.’