Reader Delphine bent over backwards to help a new colleague settle in – then they were suddenly more senior than her. Our Jobs Guru James Innes is here with some advice
Dear James
I’ve been with my company for years and, when a new person joined not all that long ago, I was one of the people asked to help them settle in.
I showed them the ropes, answered their questions, explained how things worked and generally helped them get up to speed. Fair enough – we all need a hand when we start somewhere new. But now, not all that long afterwards, they’ve been promoted above me.
I’m trying not to sound bitter because I know jealousy is not a good look, but I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t got under my skin. I keep thinking, “How on earth has that happened?”
What am I supposed to take from it?
Delphine, Cornwall
Well, now. I can quite see why that has upset you, Delphine
Most people would feel the same. You help somebody find their feet, you do the decent thing, and before you know it they’ve gone sailing past you.
That is enough to make anybody feel a bit sick if they are honest about it. And before anybody says you should just smile bravely and be pleased for them – rubbish. Of course you are annoyed.
Now, does that automatically mean your employer has behaved disgracefully? Not necessarily. But it certainly suggests that they may be looking at you in a way that doesn’t help you very much.
You may, I’m afraid, have become the useful one, the safe one, the one who knows the place inside out, can be trusted not to make a fuss, helps other people, gets on with the job and keeps things moving.
Employers love people like that; they really do! The trouble is, they often love them in the same job…
Meanwhile, the newer person may have been better at catching the eye. A bit more pushy, perhaps, a bit more polished, a bit more inclined to put themselves forward. Or maybe management simply took a fancy to them and decided they looked the part. Offices are full of that sort of thing. It is hardly a great triumph of justice.
So, yes, take something from it. But don’t take from it that you are second-rate. Take from it that being good and being noticed are two different kettles of fish.
Top Tip:
If you want promotion, don’t just be helpful and dependable. Make sure people know what you have achieved. If you don’t say it, don’t assume anybody else will.
Spotlight On: Why it’s sometimes best not to be too useful…
Some people become so reliable, so knowledgeable and so willing to muck in that the boss starts seeing them as part of the machinery. Valuable machinery, certainly – but still machinery. And once that happens, moving them can feel like more trouble than it is worth.
That’s when someone newer can take off like a rocket simply because they look fresher, noisier or more ‘promising’.
Any manager worth their salt should know better than that. But plenty don’t! And if you are the one always helping, always sorting things out and always keeping the show on the road, you would be well advised to make sure you are not quietly helping yourself into a corner.
Get a head start in your job hunt with James’ new book, The Job You’ve Always Wanted – out now from Pearson at £16.99.
Our Jobs Guru, James Innes, is a best-selling careers author and founder of the world’s leading group of professional CV and resume writers .