If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
She posted crude shots
The girl I love is playing mind games. She knows how much I love her but won’t tell me where she’s living – or with whom…
I’ve not seen her for months. I get the occasional text reassuring me that she’s healthy and in need of cash, but I need to see her. I want to apologise for anything I’ve done wrong and bring her home.
She and I met a couple of years ago at a local club. We made love that first night and she vowed never to leave my side.
At first our sex life was great. She was open and loving and up for anything. But then she started complaining about my lack of ambition and the state of my flat. She ordered me to totally renovate my home or she’d leave. I took out a huge bank loan and did everything she asked of me – new designer kitchen, bathroom, bedroom suite, the lot – but still she wasn’t satisfied. She started calling me boring and withheld her love.
One night we went to a party, and she humiliated me by getting off with another woman right in front of me. She disappeared to this other person’s place for three nights and posted all sorts of crude shots of the two of them in bed together on social media. Eventually she returned and we were fine for a while. I got a bonus at work, which cheered her up, but then she claimed that she needed £5,000 to help a sick relative and I haven’t clapped eyes on her since.
My friends and family (who have never liked her) say that I must be prepared to let her go, but how can I when I adore her and there are so many unanswered questions?
JANE SAYS: I understand that you think you still love this woman and you can’t understand where she’s gone, but you must let her go. How much more of an emotional kicking are you prepared to take?
The fact is that you’re not made of stone and she’s in danger of breaking you.
She sounds like a selfish, ruthless, mercenary character who thinks nothing of doing exactly what she wants and bleeding you dry. She’s always does her own thing and doesn’t care who she tramples underfoot.
Why is it up to you to fund her debts?
Why on earth are you still sending her money when you don’t even know where she is? Presumably she’s living with someone…
My worry is that you have allowed this individual to blind you; just because she stamps her foot and tells you that she’s amazing doesn’t mean it’s true.
There are plenty of people out there who would make you very happy. At the moment you’re simply wasting your time – to say nothing of your money – and that’s unsustainable and unrealistic. Tell her that you are moving on and that she is not to contact you again except to repay the massive debt she owes you in full. Are you a victim of a romance scam? Check out victimsupport.org.uk
Snogging shame
I thought the guy I share an office with fancied me.
I misinterpreted his chat and humour as flirting. Therefore, can you imagine my shame and humiliation when I got sloshed and attempted to snog him at my mate’s leaving do? He gently whispered in my ear: “Darling, I’m not interested”.
Now I don’t know where to put my face.
Work is awkward and embarrassing. Colleagues are laughing at me.
I cringe when I remember rubbing his leg and trying to shove my tongue down his throat. How could I have been so stupid?
JANE SAYS: You’re not the first person to pick up the wrong vibe and you won’t be the last.
I think he deserves an apology – don’t you? I urge you to summon your strength, go up to him and say: ‘I’m so sorry’. Don’t blame the booze, because that’s lame, but do hold your hands up and admit that you acted like a fool. Be the bigger person and hopefully you’ll be able to laugh about this together one day. As for your gossipy colleagues, let them chuckle all they like. I can guarantee that someone else will screw up next week and they’ll all be gossiping about them instead. This will pass. I strongly suggest you also start looking for love outside of the workplace. Flirting or snogging colleagues isn’t a good idea in 2026.
Cheap stunt
My partner knows that I love to spend a couple of hours with my Mum every Saturday. I pop over to her place for a cuppa. My partner hates this arrangement and thinks of anything he can to stop me from going.
From ‘losing’ the car keys to claiming he’s sick, he will pull any cheap stunt to keep me by his side.
Now he’s announced that he wants to completely redecorate the whole house at weekends over the summer and I’m to stop going out.
Mum will be devastated if I let her down.
JANE SAYS: Your partner is being spiteful and small-minded every time he complains about you leaving the house. Clearly, he hates the idea of you having any freedom at all. Of course, relationships work on compromise, but you are allowed to have a life too. I get the feeling that this is his ultimate test; if he can get you away from your mother, then he’ll have ‘won’.
Get tough and tell him that you’re not backing down because a couple of hours each weekend are nothing in the grand scale of things. Any decorating came be done around your visits. Take back control – and yourself respect – by standing up for yourself.
Card sharp
I’m owed £500 by a mate who is now avoiding me.
A few months ago, I organised a girlie weekend away. I warned every one of the cost. She kept promising to pay me later, so I put her contribution on my card.
Must I front her up?
JANE SAYS: Write a formal letter requesting the money back.
Suggest a meet up where you’ll expect to be paid in full. Don’t be threatening or nasty, just honest.
If she can’t give it to you in one, lump sum then what about monthly payments instead? See what you can negotiate. Also check out citizensadvice.org.uk Sadly, if she doesn’t cough up, then don’t have anything more to do with her. It’s disappointing when people let us down, but you can’t let this overwhelm you.