If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Two lovers a week
I’ve only been married to my guy for a few weeks, but I’m already regretting tying the knot.
The problem is that I can’t stand having sex with the same guy every night. Is that terrible?
I crave variety, spice and excitement. Being with just him is dull and predictable. I long for my old, wild days when I’d have two different guys a week. I used to live in an amazing flat share with a fabulous bunch of mates. My parents took care of all my bills and practical problems and I was free…
Marriage is just so crushingly boring. All we ever do is work, watch telly, clear up and go to bed. And, even when we’re in bed, the sex is nowhere near as naughty or raunchy as it was before we said, “I do”.
Then there’s all the housework and the endless bills. I never realised it before, but my bloke is a bit of neat freak. He demands everything is ‘just so’ and the pressure to keep things pristine is doing my head in.
I can tell that my husband has never been more content. He’s like the cat that got the cream but I’m dying inside.
JANE SAYS: A marriage is only as good as you make. You must put a lot in, if you want to get a lot out. No one says that just because you’re married you must stay in every night and turn to jelly.
After the buzz of a wedding (and often an exotic honeymoon too) many individuals struggle to settle down to a more normal life again. You’ve only been married for a very short time. Surely you realise that you must give this union more time?
Talk to your man about your interests, your cravings and your needs. See if you can instigate some changes and line up some exciting plans. Holidays? Nights out? Meetings with friends? Keep the lines of communication open. I’m sure he’ll be devastated to hear that you’re bored and frustrated.
As for your yearning to sleep around again; aren’t you done with all that now? Why not strive to spice up your own sex life? Sadly, if this new set up really isn’t working, then you owe it to your new husband to be scrupulously honest.
My girl now
Recently my newish boyfriend was very rude to my parents. His arrogance and deep disrespect took my breath away and now I don’t know how to deal with him. We were at my family home for lunch and my mum casually mentioned that she missed seeing more of me. We were just about to organise an overnight spa trip when my bloke leapt in and scotched it.
He all but said: “She’s mine now”.
Later my friend called me on my mobile. He snatched it out of my hand and told her not to bother me again.
I feel frozen with fear because my life is at a crossroads. On the one hand he’s rich and generous and takes me to nice places. But on the other he’s definitely trying to alienate me from the people I love and that scares me.
I don’t even know how to approach this with him because he’s got a very strong personality and already ties me up in verbal knots.
JANE SAYS: Is a ‘strong personality’ another way of saying that he’s a bully and a control freak? I think it is, don’t you? Maybe this creep (sorry, chap) does buy you nice things and take you to cool places, but nothing gives him the right to disrespect your parents or grab your phone out of your hand.
I suggest you cut all ties with him before you find yourself in too deep. Wipe the slate clean. Be strong, tell him it’s over and walk away. Learn from this; be wary of accepting expensive gifts in future – especially if you get the impression that someone is trying to buy your commitment.
Turn to your family and friends for help and support because I’ve also got a horrible feeling that he won’t go away without a struggle – and you cannot allow him to lure you back or you’ll be lost.
Crash out
A few months ago, a friend asked me to housesit for her. I wasn’t even keen to do it, but she persuaded me. Unfortunately, I managed to break both the shower and the washing machine, both of which I’ve now paid to have repaired.
Only she won’t stop going on about what an idiot I am. Recently she referred to me on social media as a ‘One woman car crash’.
I’ve said sorry and I’m sick of this.
JANE SAYS: I suggest you have a quiet, one-on-one word with your friend and make it clear how much her comments upset you. You’ve attempted to make amends, and the ‘joke’ is now wearing very thin. What more do you have to do to get her to forget it?
You didn’t deliberately break her stuff, and you have paid. If she keeps on, then maybe you must accept that this woman is no friend of yours after all.