If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Kinky sex
I thought having a threesome with two women would be a big laugh.
How wrong I was. I now deeply regret allowing my girl to bring another pal into our bed. Our relationship is in freefall, and I fear I’m about to lose my relationship and my mind. The problem is that the girl my partner chose simply won’t leave. She’s still here eating our food and sleeping in our bed.
I find myself an awkward outcast.
Everything kicked off two months ago when my girl invited a friend over for a planned night of kinky sex.
We had some drinks in the front room and then got naked. The whole night was wild. We kissed, touched and caressed while watching an X-rated film. Then we burst into the bedroom where we groped, licked and loved each other until dawn. At one point I was making love to the friend while my girl filmed us. We deliberately played up to the camera, and the resulting footage is hysterical. Then the two girls got it on while I massaged and rubbed them. It was the best sex of my life, but now I’m paying the price.
The problem is that this friend hasn’t gone away since. I come home from work and she’s still here; drinking our drink and lounging on the sofa. She dominates my girl’s time and attention. I feel pushed out and abandoned.
We’ve not had another threesome (my choice) since, but the girls make no secret of the fact that they have regular sex behind my back. I just want my old life back. I liked it much better when it was simply my girl and I. If anything, TALKING about a threesome was far hornier than doing it. I don’t like this friend. I find her sneaky and manipulative. I know that she’s said things against me and that makes me cross.
JANE SAYS: Your relationship has been hijacked by this other woman and, suddenly, you don’t know where you stand. You’ve discovered, to your cost, that three is very much a crowd.
The idea of having another individual in your bed was an exciting one. It’s something many people fantasise about all the time.
But going the extra step and inviting her in has brought untold misery. Clearly your partner is besotted with this woman; they’re having sex in your absence, and all the normal rules of a relationship have gone out of the window. You feel like a spare part and don’t really know what your role is or where you stand.
I urge you to speak to your girl, in private, and make it clear that you can’t go on like this.
Your sexy experiment has turned sour and now you need to start again. Is she prepared to ditch her pal and give her, her marching orders and dedicate herself solely to you? Does your relationship have a future?
If you love her, then you need to be prepared to fight for her. Get talking. Tell her that this has all gone too far and you’re going back to square one. Is she coming with you?
Sadly, if she’s not, then you’ll have to pick yourself up and not make the same mistakes again in future. Whatever happens, stand up for yourself and don’t allow anyone to take advantage or walk all over you.
Busted at work
A couple of weeks ago I was stressed out at work and clicked onto an adult website. It was nothing sleazy, I swear. A colleague caught me and bawled me out. Now he is making my life a living hell. He’s threatening to tell our boss and my girlfriend that I’m a pervert. I’m not, I was simply stressed on that particular day. This revelation could jeopadise my job and kill my, already fragile, relationship.
So far, I’ve given this colleague £300 in ‘expenses’.
First, he asked for cash for a new pair of shoes, then he needed more to ‘pay back a mate’. He’s blackmailing me. I’m terrified.
JANE SAYS: This sneaky colleague knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s vital that you stop him in his tracks. Tell your girlfriend and boss everything. You have to stamp this out. You made a mistake; you acted stupidly in a moment of stress and now you’re very sorry.
Make it clear that you’re willing to seek professional help (via your GP) for your stress and accept any disciplinary action. Then tell your colleague to pay back the money he owes you and never trouble you again.
If he has a problem with that, then maybe you need to have a word with the police? I doubt if his colleagues and family would be impressed to hear that he’s an extortionist.
Deal or no deal
An old mate has asked me to sleep with his wife in return for money. He’s unable to make love to her due to a bad leg. She’s sexually frustrated and threatening to start an affair. He thinks that if she has regular sex with me, then he’ll be able to control the situation.
I’ve known this couple for years and she’s climbing the walls. Recently, he asked her what would make her happy and she mentioned me.
He’ll pay me £100 for one night of passion a week. He’ll do anything to keep her sweet. Dare I go there?
JANE SAYS: I strongly urge you to keep your powder dry…
Tell this guy ‘thanks, but no thanks’. If the couple are having problems in the bedroom, then they’d be better off asking about relationship counselling via their GP. Personally, it sounds to me as if the poor guy is clutching at straws. What is there to stop his wife from falling for you? With the physical act of regular sex invariably comes emotion?
If his wife is sexually frustrated and desperate for action, then the chances are that this idea would become very complicated, very quickly. Not good. Check out nationaldebtline.org regarding your money worries and find your own person to love.
Goodbye Norma Jeane
My boyfriend likes to call me “Marilyn” at the point of orgasm. He’s always been obsessed with film icon Marilyn Monroe. He goes into a trance-like state at the point of climax. He stops looking into my eyes and starts screaming: “Yes, Marilyn, yes”. I find this quite creepy. Should I be concerned?
JANE SAYS: Anything that goes on – either in the bedroom or out of it – that you don’t feel comfortable with doesn’t have to be tolerated. If your boyfriend gives you the creeps every time he zones out and calls you by a different name, then you need to explain how unhappy that makes you. Ultimately, if you don’t feel you are respected, or really know him, then you can’t waste any more time hanging out together.