Count Binface has released his Clacton by-election manifesto containing a few barbed digs at rival Nigel Farage. The “independent space warrior” vowed not to accept £5m gifts from crypto billionaires (on Earth) and to spend more time in Clacton-on-Sea than Washington DC.
His manifesto also pledged to ban MPs who resign mid-parliament from standing in the resulting by-election and to build at least one affordable home.
Other commitments include potholes to be filled using copies of the 2024 Labour party manifesto and a windfall tax on cosy crime novels “written” by celebs. He also promised to move Parliament to his new Bin HQ in Weely while the Palace of Westminster is restored.
Count Binface faces Farage in the by-election on August 13 after the Reform UK leader resigned his seat following scrutiny into a £5 million donation.
“My Clacton 2026 manifesto is here,” Count Binface said. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Join me, clean up Clacton and let’s make 13th August bin day!”
Britain’s main political parties, including Labour, the Conservatives, Lib Dems and Greens, have boycotted the election in protest. Opposition party leaders labelled Farage’s move a cynical “political stunt”, a “fake by-election” and a “media circus”.
Yet the 34 candidates standing in the by-election sets a new record and includes 20 independents alongside satirical and fringe figures.
Mr Farage is being investigated by Parliament’s standards commissioner over the £5m gift he accepted from Thailand-based crypto tycoon Christopher Harborne. The investigation is expected to resume even if Farage returns to Parliament following the by-election.
Binface has also proposed capping bus fares at £1.99, a week after the government announced a £2 cap outside London. And he called for the cost of 99 Flake ice creams to be capped at 99p.
Even Sir Keir Starmer gave Count Binface his backing as he urged voters to reject “rubbish” Farage. During his final PMQs, Starmer used his final session to throw his weight behind Binface – following on from Tory leader Kemi Badenoch and Lib Dem leader Ed Davey.
Kemi said: “Does he not agree that what the country deserves is a televised debate between Nigel Farage and Count Binface?”
The outgoing Labour leader replied: “Mr Speaker, they intend to spend the summer arguing with a bin – my advice to everyone is to put your vote in the bin.”