If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Biggest victim
My best mate bullies me.
I’m never allowed to drink when we go out with the girls because I’m always the ‘designated driver’. Everyone else gets stuck into cocktails and spritz’s, while I’m on the lemonades.
She loves the fact I have a car. Virtually every day she orders me to pick her up and drop her off – even if it means going miles out of my way.
I’ve just started going out with a new guy who has opened my eyes to the truth; my best mate is a monster. He doesn’t know why I put up with her, but how do I change her now? I used to think she was funny because she gave our school teachers hell.
But now that we’re all in our late 20s, I realise that she isn’t nice – and I’m her biggest victim.
At the moment she’s sleeping with a married guy while his wife is in Cornwall recovering from a major operation. I tell my mate that she’s out of order but she doesn’t care. All she ever bothers about is her own pleasure and fun and I can’t respect that anymore.
JANE SAYS: This vile woman probably believes that she’s a right laugh and a character. You’re never going to change her.
The problem is that you’ve given in to her for too long. She talks to you like dirt because she has absolutely no respect for you. You’re her little lap dog. It’s taken your new boyfriend to point out the glaringly obvious.
Tell her that she’s appalling if it’ll make you feel better but then vow to take back control of your own life and stop allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat. Toxic friends are best disposed of – and this parting is long overdue.
Strapped for cash
My ex-mother-in-law knows that I’m strapped for cash. I’m working full time and struggling to make ends meet but it doesn’t cross her mind to help me out.
The other day she was bagging stuff up for the charity shop and cleaning out her fridge. I watched as she dumped perfectly good ready meals that were only a day out of date.
She didn’t even offer me so much as a stale biscuit. How mean is that? My ex now lives abroad and contributes nothing, yet she won’t say a word against him.
JANE SAYS: Maybe your ex-mother-in-law no longer feels that you are her family or her responsibility and it’s time for you to go your separate ways?
If you have children with her absent son, and she’s prepared to see them go hungry, then she must be a very odd woman.
You need to sit down together and work out what you now mean to each other and where you go from here. Point out that you are a hard-working woman who is going through a difficult patch right now.
Openly humiliating you and making you feel like a pauper is pathetic and low.
How would she like it if someone treated her like that? The fact is that she doesn’t know where she’ll be this time next year – maybe she’ll need your help down the line?