If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Takes the biscuit
I still haven’t forgiven my oldest friend for sleeping with my boyfriend last year. She shagged him during my birthday party, on my bed as I served cake.
Now she has asked me to play a major role in her June 2027 wedding. I enjoy cooking and entertaining.
She wants me to organise a three-course dinner, flowers and table decorations. She’s suggesting a budget of just £3,000 and asked me to ‘work my magic’ for 60 guests. Yet I’m not going to be a bridesmaid because I’m “too old”.
This is another example of her grabby personality. She always wants something for nothing.
She keeps trying to placate me by saying: “You do understand about the bridesmaid thing, don’t you?” I feel extremely insulted.
JANE SAYS: I’d tell your toxic friend to forget it, if I were you.
She’s taking the pee. A £3,000 budget for everything? She must think you’re a miracle worker or a mug. If she doesn’t like the way you look then there’s not much else to be said. If she only wants your culinary skills, because she’s hoping for a cheap bit of catering, then she can bog off.
Tell her that she’s finally over-stepped the mark and you won’t be around for her big day. This isn’t you having a strop; it’s you claiming your life back. Clearly, she’s prone to pushing her luck and using people.
This is the perfect time to cut this tie and remove yourself from her enormous sense of entitlement. Please tell me you’re no longer with that boyfriend…
Life of grime
My mum has always been something of a hoarder. Recently I visited her home for the first time in ages and was disgusted at the state of her place.
I tried to start clearing up and she went mad; accusing me of interfering. I feel so sorry for my aunt who lives with her. She’s forced to pick her way through the mess and the bathroom and kitchen are disgusting.
My aunt has no voice because it’s my mother’s property and she’s a very strong woman. How do I help when she is so resistant to change? My younger sister won’t even go round there.
JANE SAYS: Work with your family in getting the professional help your mother needs. Your mother is ill. It’s possible that she’s suffering from a mental illness called Hoarding Disorder.
Often this disorder is triggered by a traumatic event. I can’t imagine that your mother likes living in this chaos any more than your poor aunt does.
Sadly, if she really won’t allow you and your sister to help out, then you must speak to social services about the conditions your mother and aunt are living in.
They need support before things get dangerous.