If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Disgusting behaviour
I’m sick of my mates ganging up on me. How dare they disapprove of how I behave? Who are they to judge?
I pride myself on being a free spirit. Of being unique. Yet, my three closest pals believe it’s their job to put me in my place.
Recently my closest friend invited me for a drink in her garden. When I arrived, my two other pals were already there. I was offered a glass of juice and instructed to listen without interrupting. For the next twenty minutes, I was informed that I’m shameless and disgusting. They said they disapproved of my clothes (too tarty) and my lovers (too many). I was told that unless I clean up my act, then I’m out of the friendship group.
I was absolutely stunned. I stumbled out of there feeling like I’d been hit over the head with a cartoon mallet. But now I’m fuming.
I like to drink to excess. I enjoy dressing up; receiving male attention and finding action. It’s like oxygen to me.
My perfect weekend involves gallons of rose and full sex with a fit bloke. If I also get a good dance, some live music and a few snogs in as well, then I’m more than happy.
I believe that life is for living.
I want to laugh, flirt and have a giggle. How dare my mates be so negative and stroppy? I suspect they’re jealous because I’m good looking and can get any guy I want. Now, apparently, they’re waiting for me to reform before they’ll see me again. If I don’t buck up, then I won’t be invited on any more holidays or girlie nights out.
JANE SAYS: You can’t blame your friends for being worried about you. It’s your life and you can live it any way you see fit, but If you really are getting smashed and copping off with complete strangers for fast sex, then they’re going to be concerned. If they’re not drinking as much as you are, then they can see the potential dangers.
Sex with strangers is completely stupid. I suspect your friends watch you spin out of control and fear for your safety – especially if they’re the ones scraping you off the pavement and getting you home in one piece.
Then there’s the matter of reputation. You may dismiss this as an old-fashioned concept. But if your mates feel tainted by your behaviour, then they’re entitled to speak out.
The reality is that your mates don’t have to hang out with you at all. They could all walk away tomorrow and leave you on your own. Clearly, they include you, because they like you, but don’t push you luck or you will find yourself friendless.
Also promise me that you’ll always use condoms and think about cleaning up your act. I worry that you’ll regret this behaviour sooner than you think. Don’t be too proud, or too stubborn to take their comments onboard.
Pick a side
I’ve had to start ignoring an old friend on social media because I don’t like the political stories and opinions she posts. I keep an open mind but don’t agree with her.
Now she keeps asking me why I don’t ‘like’ or comment on her on-line posts. This is very awkward as she’d be devastated to hear that I’m not on her side.
JANE SAYS: You mustn’t feel guilty for taking control of your own life. If this friend chooses to post certain stuff, then that’s up to her, but you’re in no way obliged to like or agree with it.
Level with her, make it clear that you aren’t ruled by social media and don’t appreciate or require the more challenging content. Is this a friendship breaker? She deserves the truth.