If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Bad habit
My partner keeps nipping next door for sex with my neighbour. One minute he’s watching TV the next he’s sneaking out the back door. I watch him on our security cameras.
I beg him to give her up and come back to me, but I fear I have no power as I work long hours and he spends so much time home alone. I’ve heard she brags to mutual friends that he’s an amazing lover who ‘takes her to Heaven and back’. Well, he’s never been much cop between the sheets with me, so how come I’ve been shortchanged?
JANE SAYS: If you can’t trust your man to stay faithful to you, then show him the door. If your neighbour is so alluring, then let her have him. They can romp to their hearts’ content if that’s what turns them on.
Meanwhile you can start looking for a new place with someone who doesn’t mess on their own doorstep. It sounds like they deserve each other.
Card sharps
Every so often my partner hears of a card game. He takes money from our business and goes out gambling.
Eventually he staggers home looking dreadful. Mostly he loses – a lot. I’ve begged him to stop, and my nerves are in shreds. I’m so ashamed that I can’t bring myself to tell friends and siblings of what I’m going through.
My late parents must be turning in their graves as they gifted this business to us.
JANE SAYS: You and your man are partners in life and business too.
He clearly believes he’s entitled to grab your takings for gambling purposes. While he’s out with his card sharps, you’re left behind, worrying yourself sick about what’s going on – and what is being lost.
This selfish behaviour could bring your business down. What about balancing the books; tax, wages etc? Clearly, he’s in the grip of a terrible addiction, but that doesn’t give him the right to override you (his equal) and put you down.
He’s got to know that you won’t go on like this.
Ask him to admit that he needs help and to check out Gamblers Anonymous (www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk). They also have a section for family and friends, which you should definitely consult. At some point you must start to put your own mental health and security first because, at the moment, you’re carrying too much.
Twisted sister
I’m convinced that my partner’s evil sister is trying to poison him against me. She’s so nasty when I’m around. I’m sure she’s desperate to split us up. She’s a spoilt brat and very entitled.
She has so much to lose if we move in together. She’ll have to leave his house, which he allows her to stay in rent free, and start fending for herself.
Recently, at a party, she got drunk and slurred that I’m ‘a common gold digger’.
He didn’t hear, but I’m still smarting. Should I tell him what I think of her?
JANE SAYS: I’m sure that your partner is well aware of what his sister is capable of. If he’s turning the other cheek, then I suggest you do the same.
Be the bigger, more dignified adult. Don’t rise to her bait. The sweeter you are, the more unreasonable she’ll appear.
It’s unfortunate that she feels under threat, but everyone has to stand on their own two feet eventually and she’ll survive. I very much doubt if your partner is planning to turn her out onto the streets with nothing.
Hold your nerve and see how this plays out. Actively avoid making an enemy of this woman because she is his flesh and blood.