Dani Osvaldo is the long-haired, tattooed, smoking, womaniser that the Premier League didn’t get the pleasure of hosting for long enough.
The Italian arrived at Southampton in 2013 from Roma for £12.8million with a remarkable reputation on and off the pitch. However, after just 13 games and three goals, the man compared to Johnny Depp had jumped ship and was back in Italy.
Much like Depp, and his Pirates of the Caribbean character, Jack Sparrow, Osvaldo can boast a catalogue of famous former flames, performs in a musical group and has no qualms about sparking up a smoke. And similar to the swashbuckling pirate, he’s well-acquainted with scandal, securing him the nickname “El Loco”, translating to ‘The Crazy One.’
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In fairness, Osvaldo’s initial career was reasonably subdued. Born in Argentina, he launched his professional football career at Huracan before departing for Italy following merely one campaign. Between 2006 and 2010, he represented Atalanta, Lecce, Fiorentina and Bologna, subsequently relocating to Spain to link up with Mauricio Pochettino’s Espanyol, where he left a considerable mark on the pitch.
His most infamous episode unfolded in 2008 while representing Fiorentina against Juventus; following his goal, he marked the moment by removing his jersey and mimicking firing at his own fans with a pretend machine gun, resulting in a second booking and dismissal.
Nevertheless, it was following his £13m transfer to Roma that matters truly began to spiral. Erik Lamela can attest to Osvaldo’s fiery temperament – in November 2011, after a 2-0 defeat to Udinese, Osvaldo received a fine and ban for “punching Lamela in the face” in the changing room.
The footballer was clearly irritated that his former teammate hadn’t supplied the pass to him during the match. Subsequently, he brushed off the on-field altercation, remarking: “The thing with Lamela was just the passion of the moment. I can be really annoying when it comes to this, as I always want the ball and admit I am as egotistical as most strikers.
“This incident, though, really was nothing. If I had Lamela’s left foot then I wouldn’t have passed the ball either.” However, Osvaldo’s problematic conduct didn’t end there. In 2012, his behaviour spiralled – receiving five red cards in a single year while representing both club and country, even enduring boos from his own fans.
The controversial character showed no signs of calming down. He clashed with Roma legend Francesco Totti over a “stolen” penalty after a bungled effort, having seized the ball himself. He then withdrew from a pre-season tour in the US, claiming sickness, only to be photographed in London on a romantic getaway with his new partner while banned for the Lazio derby – hardly demonstrating loyalty to his teammates.
During those turbulent times, he’d also split from Elena Braccini, the mother of two of his children, and started dating Jimena Baron, an Argentinian actress and singer. Reflecting on her past with Osvaldo, Braccini told Sport Mediaset: “When I met Dani he was pure. Then the success got him dirty. The fame, the money, the wrong people who even sucked his blood.
“He’s not bad, he’s not crazy either. He’s just a man who’s so weak, he does not know who really loved him and who screwed him.” His spell at Roma ended bitterly after he openly slated caretaker boss Aurelio Andreazzoli, who had relegated him to the bench for the Italian Cup final, only bringing him on during the final 15 minutes.
Osvaldo turned to X to vent his frustration, telling Andreazzoli: “You’d do more good if you admitted to being incompetent. Go celebrate with Lazio.” This rant resulted in his omission from the Italy squad for the Confederations Cup in Brazil.
Osvaldo required a new beginning, which materialised at Southampton. The Saints splashed out £12.8m on the forward, reuniting him with Pochettino. During his stint at St Mary’s, Osvaldo produced moments of magic, including a sublime chip against Manchester City.
Yet his reputation is tarnished more by instances of madness. He barely escaped a sending-off on his debut, having made two wild challenges that each merited a booking. Months afterwards, he copped a three-match suspension and a £40,000 penalty for responding violently to a heavy challenge during a clash against Newcastle, with the FA deeming him guilty of violent conduct. However, the most shocking episode was still to unfold.
Just three weeks afterwards, Osvaldo planted a headbutt on team skipper Jose Fonte during a training session, leaving the Portuguese centre-back sporting a black eye. He was subsequently banned for a fortnight for violating conduct regulations and had two weeks’ salary deducted.
Following a chaotic loan period with Juventus and later Inter Milan, where he fell out with manager Roberto Mancini and team-mate Mauro Icardi, Osvaldo’s previously bright football career began to unravel.
His later transfers saw him reunite with boyhood club Boca Juniors and enjoy a fleeting spell at Porto, but matters deteriorated when his deal was terminated after merely three matches back at Boca; boss Guillermo Barros Schelotto discovered him puffing away in the dressing room.
In August 2016, at only 30 years of age, Osvaldo called time on his playing days, swapping football for music by establishing a Barcelona-based group called Barrio Viejo alongside mates from his Espanyol period.
Discussing his startling premature retirement with Gazzetta dello Sport, Osvaldo expressed a fondness for relaxation over riches: “I decided to quit at Boca, there was too much gossip. I couldn’t go out, I was afraid of people. I couldn’t do it any more. I had offers from China and clubs in the Champions League, but I was detached.”
He continued: “I was beginning to hate what I’d always loved. Football deserves respect, and I prefer asado [Argentine barbecue] and beer to money.”
Since hanging up his boots, Osvaldo has succeeded in remaining in the spotlight, chiefly thanks to his romantic adventures. Following his split from Jimena, he embarked on a fleeting affair with singer Militta Bora.
Come September 2018, drama erupted when Jimena publicly slammed him for failing to offer financial assistance for their son, while also delivering scathing remarks about his extravagant three-month European holiday as she handled childcare responsibilities alone.
When Osvaldo returned, scandal wasn’t far behind; he sparked outrage after sharing footage of himself driving with their son Momo perched on his lap, tiny hands gripping the steering wheel.
Despite all the chaos, Osvaldo showed zero regret when looking back at his previous behaviour. During a frank interview with Marca, he shared his thoughts on celebrity and his way of life.
“Would I like to be like Messi? No. I’d like to play like him, but he has no life. It’s as if he lives in a golden prison,” he said. “He couldn’t go somewhere and quietly drink something. Maybe he doesn’t care about it, but I do.”
Never one to shy away from the unexpected, in 2019 Osvaldo waltzed into the spotlight by taking part in the Italian edition of Strictly Come Dancing, Ballando con le Stelle. He secured a creditable third place in the contest.
And twelve months later, he emerged from retirement – though only temporarily – to turn out for Argentine side Banfield. He entered as a substitute against River Plate and nearly netted a spectacular 30-yard screamer, only for it to be palmed over the crossbar.
He said after the game: “I am very happy, in Banfield they treat me very well and make me feel important.”
His significance became even greater four years later when he courageously revealed his struggle with depression in what he described as a “cry for help”. In an Instagram video, he shared: “It’s hard for me to make this video because I’ve never done anything like this before. But I think the time has come because I’m quite desperate and I’m not doing well.
“I don’t know if it’s a cry for help or if I just feel the need to talk about it because I’ve been dealing with a lot of depression for a long time. This depression made me fall into some addictions – alcohol and drugs. And the truth is that I’m at a point where my life is slipping out of my hands.”
Almost instantly, he was overwhelmed with messages of support, particularly from former Roma teammate Daniele De Rossi, who promised he’ll “forever be here” for him and Argentina international Leandro Paredes who wrote: Come on Dani dear!!!! Strength everything is going to be fine.”
Osvaldo nowadays presents a weathered yet optimistic persona, embracing each day fully while remaining conscious of his personal boundaries. While supporters have ceased singing his name from the stands, they’re now cheering for him in music venues.
The Johnny Depp of football is evidently relishing life performing with passion.