If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
I can’t compete
My new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend is sexier and sassier than I am – has her own money. I really like him but he keeps going back to her – and I don’t feel I can compete.
My fella sneaks into to her place any time my back is turned. His behaviour is so insulting.
I can smell the sweat, the sex and her perfume on his skin.
Recently, she even posted a pair of the underpants he’d left at her place through my letterbox. How do I get him to commit solely to me?
JANE SAYS: Don’t flatter yourself into thinking that this moron cares about you, because he obviously only thinks about himself. Tell him today that you’ve had enough and throw him out, and those dirty underpants, out on the street. I don’t understand why you continue to tolerate him. Why do you allow him to use your home like a flophouse when he’d clearly prefer to be somewhere else?
I fear that he and his lover are having a massive laugh at your expense and you can’t allow that to happen. Who knows? Perhaps they get off on the fact that he sleeps with someone else; that this is all a kinky game to them?
The bottom line is that you’re worth so much more than any of this. I suspect you’ll never understand what makes him tick. Who cares?
Bowled over
I’m sick of my boyfriend’s high maintenance beauty regime. He thinks nothing of splashing out on expensive body scrubs, tonics and moisturisers too.
He has regular massages, fake tans and waxes. He spends more time in the bathroom than me – and uses money from our joint bank account to fund his vanity.
I’m worried that he’s trying to impress another women. The other night he waltzed out of here looking – and smelling like a male model.
When I asked where he was going he muttered: “Bowls club”. What’s going on?
JANE SAYS: You can’t knock a chap for trying to look his best. However, if the money he’s splashing out with is coming out of your joint account – and you feel he’s taking advantage – then you need to talk. Why the sudden change of image?
Is he prepared to fund his own purchases in future?
If you fear that he’s primping himself up for another, then you need to front him up.
Precisely what is going on behind your back, because if he won’t tell you, then you will find out…
Being clean and presentable is admirable but make it clear that you will not have the wool pulled over your eyes. You can visit the ‘bowls club’ too.
Skin and bone
My partner has lost too much weight. I fear he’s got an eating disorder. He claims to eat a big meal at work, but I don’t believe him. He won’t admit that anything is wrong.
The other day I walked in on him in the bathroom and he was nothing but skin and bone. I don’t fancy him anymore and we’re not having sex.
JANE SAYS: Please find the right time to talk to your man about your fears and his health. Offer to visit his GP with him so that you can both start the process of getting appropriate help. Also check Beat (beating eating Disorders) at www.b-eat.co.uk for information on this subject.
Sadly, disordered eating habits are something that affect all sorts of people. You can’t ignore this problem.