If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Vicious tongue
My adult sister is a diva. She’s never grown up and has an enormous sense of entitlement.
She shows off at family gatherings; she has tantrums to ensure that all eyes are on her.
She can never leave our parents’ house without taking something with her; money, booze, or food.
She’s currently driving my Dad’s car because she crashed her own. Mum and Dad are reduced to taking the bus everywhere even though they’re elderly. They don’t like saying ‘no’ in case they upset her. She’s arrogant and has always been a spoilt brat.
On top of that she’s brazenly sleeping with her best friend’s husband. Her mate is working abroad and my sister sneaks round and bonks her husband several times a week – then brags about it afterwards. She’ll shag anyone and I think it’s disgusting.
Dare I tackle her? The problem is that she can be very nasty and abusive when crossed.
JANE SAYS: Speak to your parents and offer to support them. Tell them that they’re not obliged to give your sister anything, because she’s an adult. If she really is bullying and leaning on them, then tell them that you’re behind them all the way, because together you’ll be stronger.
Is a gloves off, round the table family conference long overdue?
Your sister may think she’s fully entitled to your parents’ food, drink, and cash but everyone’s on a budget. If she realises that you’re now on her case, then, maybe, she’ll be shamed into reining it in and finally growing up.
I think the time has come for you to call her out on this in order to protect and reassure your parents – and avoid a bigger family fall out down the line. As for her sleeping with her mate’s husband – that’s between her and her conscience.
But you can be absolutely sure that the proverbial will hit the fan somewhere along the line because it always does…
Thin ice
My friends are jealous of each other.
They compete for my attention. I have four sets of friends from different areas of my life (schoolfriends, neighbourhood mates, book club pals and colleagues). I’d like them all to get on but during my recent birthday party it was all out war.
The different ‘gangs’ stood drinking separately and refused to mix.
There was nearly a fight when one woman accused another of shooting dirty looks. I attempted to break the ice with dancing and party games but was ignored. The night was a disaster, and I was left feeling disappointed and ashamed.
JANE SAYS: They all sound like a bunch of babies to me. Surely life is too precious and too short for this level of pettiness? You tried to organise a fun evening, yet everything was thrown back in your face.
Are any of these ‘friends’ worth bothering with moving forward? Is it possible they’re all holding you back and dragging you down?
I suggest you give yourself some space and have a good, long think about the value of these individuals in your life.
If you’re still hanging out with certain characters out of habit, then maybe it’s time for a friendship edit and clear out.