If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Three’s a crowd
My girlfriend wants her female lover to move in with us.
She thinks that all three of us can live, and love, in harmony – sharing one bed and all the bills.
She’s making me feel difficult for hesitating. I didn’t even know that she had a secret girlfriend until recently. I came home and found them snogging on the sofa. They invited me to join them, but I muttered: “No thanks”. Now my girl is turning up the heat. She says she’s sick of pretending.
Apparently, I should be willing to accept the other most important person in her life. I don’t want anyone else living in my home.
I’m not interested in sharing anything from the gas bill to our sex toys. Does that make me a dinosaur? I thought I knew my girl, but now it feels as if our whole relationship has been a sham.
JANE SAYS: You shouldn’t feel obliged to share your home with anyone. You’ve got to be strong and stand your ground. Talk to your girlfriend about your feelings and how you believe that she’s taking advantage and moving the goalposts. Does she accept that you have a say?
Was it ever the plan to move in a third party? Having sex with another woman is still cheating. I’m also concerned about your sexual health.
Do either of them ever have sex with other people too? Please visit your GP for a sexual health check up and don’t ever feel guilty for speaking your mind. Be prepared that she may chose her over you…
Ought for nought
I have a high-powered job.
My mum is lovely, but she won’t do anything for me unless I pay her (handsomely) upfront. Over the summer, she and my stepdad looked after my dog for three weeks. She demanded £30 a day with food on top. Now I’ve just asked her to do it again over Christmas and the New Year she wants £500. Yet she helps my sister with her kids for free. It annoys me that my stepdad charges me the going rate for DIY jobs yet works two days a week for a local charity.
How is that fair?
JANE SAYS: Your parents clearly feel that you can afford to pay them. Presumably with your ‘high powered job’ comes and impressive salary. If they are struggling on a fixed income, then your payments could be the difference between a cold and warm home.
Clearly, you trust and need them so why not spread the cash around? After all, they’re prepared to keep your doggo safe and provide peace of mind. Give them what they need and be thankful that you have got such great support.
Your sister’s situation or stepdad’s charity work aren’t your concern.
Rogue trader
My partner is a rogue. I know that he has dodgy ‘business partners’ and rips off gullible punters.
Yet I’m forced to pretend that he’s a good man.
His adoring parents can never know that he has a police record because it would break them. Being in their company is excruciating. The pressure to play along with his lies is destroying me.
JANE SAYS: Why stay with someone so highly toxic? It’s not your job to cover his tracks. He needs to own his behaviour and change – for the better.
Speak to people you trust about breaking free because you’re being crushed under the weight of his dishonesty. It’s often said that the ‘apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’.
They probably know exactly what he’s like. They raised him…