Dear Jane,
Fright night
I’m worried my girl is going to end up looking a fright.
She is sick of her face and figure. She wants the works: breast enlargement, fillers, veneers but doesn’t have any money. She won’t have sex with me until I agree to pay for an extreme, monster make-over.
She can’t stand the fact that I have £10,000 left over from my redundancy package.
I’ve got a new job and things are going well (fingers crossed) but she resents cash sitting in an account ‘doing nothing’. She considers herself the best form of investment. She’s currently spending every night at her own flat share. I’m not allowed to touch her, see her naked or even attempt sex. She says she doesn’t care how longs she waits because she knows I’ll buckle in the end. How dare she pull this stunt?
JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend sounds like an entitled brat. Whatever happened to saving up for the little extras in life?
If she’s determined to change her appearance and reinvent herself, then she needs to start budgeting. Your redundancy money needs to be ring-fenced for a rainy day. None of us know what the future will bring, and a nest egg is sensible and desirable.
She’s playing games and being pathetic. Sadly, if she’s this manipulative and shallow then you’ll have to question whether she’s right for you. You cannot allow anyone to bully or hold you to ransom.
In like Flynn
My boyfriend is the king of the quickie. Sex with him is always a sprint never a marathon. He knows I want to get pregnant yet won’t dedicate enough time to sex.
I keep telling him that I want to build the passion and make love two and three times a night but I’m lucky if I orgasm. I feel short changed. I don’t believe he takes me seriously. He argues that he gets so excited, and that I turn him on so much, that he can’t help himself. But it’s insulting when he’s snoring his head off next to me when I’m still raring to go.
JANE SAYS: There’s nothing wrong with enjoying an initial ‘quickie’ if you’re both horny. But there are plenty of hours in the day and night. What’s wrong with re-grouping and going again later?
If you crave passion and attention and your guy is more interested in getting his head down, then you’re clearly on very different pages. Talk to him in the light of day about feeling left high and dry. Explain that the sex simply isn’t good enough and suggest changes.
Sadly, if he’s too selfish or immature to wake up, then he’s certainly not going to make a decent dad. Does he even want a child?
Cuckoo in the nest
My oldest friend has fallen out with her family. She’s had a massive row with her parents about money – but now she’s muscling in on mine. She’s eating my mum’s food and getting my dad to undertake DIY tasks – for free.
My parents say she’s driving them mad – and costing them a fortune – but don’t wish to upset her.
JANE SAYS: Have a word with your friend on your parents’ behalf.
Explain that they’re busy with their own stuff and living on a budget. It’s unfair of her to impose on them and make them feel awkward and embarrassed because they’re good people.
Can she be encouraged to make up with her family? Would she like you to act as a peacemaker/go-between?
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.