Dear Jane,
Crow
Back in September I started receiving poison pen letters. Revolting messages and drawings were pushed through my letter box. My tormentor knew a lot about me and called me a slag and a man eater and wished me ill. I became paranoid and stopped going out. I persuaded my boss to let me work from home.
At one point I accused my neighbour of being the culprit. Then, one morning, I was in the house on my own when I heard a noise (my tormentor clearly thought I was out). I looked out the window and saw my best mate running away.
Now she’s confessed to being my nemesis but is begging me not to report her. She’s trying to pretend it was a silly joke.
JANE SAYS: Sadly, stalkers often turn out to be someone we already know or have met. It’s possible that this ‘friend’ has been secretly jealous of you for a long time. Who knows what motives someone like this?
This woman clearly needs professional help. She needs to be reported to the authorities so that no one else endures the pain you’ve experienced.
The good news is that you have now cracked the code; you know the truth and can now move on. Get back into the workplace, and the outside world, or she will have effectively ‘won’. Speak to your GP if you need support.
Brass in pocket
I don’t get on with my dad.
He and I fell out in 2022 after he married his current wife. I told him I didn’t like her and that he was being disloyal to our late mum, but the wedding went ahead despite me. My sister has always maintained that she is on my side but now I’ve discovered that she’s been lining her pockets with our dad’s dosh ever since. She goes to him whenever she’s broke.
She bleats that she struggles to pay her bills, but she’s weak and greedy and I can’t stand that.
JANE SAYS: Your sister’s relationship with your father is unique.
If she’s genuinely struggling to make ends meet – and he’s willing to help her – that what business of that is yours?
In an ideal world, you’d all come together to thrash out your differences and start again. Is that an option? Can your father be forgiven for marrying the woman he loves?
You’ve been angry for four years. Is that healthy? Surely, it’s time for a truce? Being estranged must be exhausting. See if this feud can finally be sorted out for everyone’s sake and don’t feel tempted to fall out with your sister. You can’t presume to tell her what to do.
Deep and meaningful
When I first met my boyfriend, he didn’t say much. He intrigued me. I assumed he was thoughtful and deep – a real spiritual soul. Turns out I was wrong. He’s actually really dense and boring. I’ve just spent an excruciating two-week holiday with him and there’s nothing to him. What should I do when I’ve told everyone that he’s the love of my life?
JANE SAYS: Level with the man; tell him that you need to move on. But at least show him some respect. Using words like ‘dense’ isn’t kind or fair.
Maybe he does have hidden depths that you’ve simply struggled to mine. What makes you think you’re so perfect? Sadly, if this guy doesn’t make you happy then you can’t stay with him in order to save face.
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.