A doctor has confirmed that Winter Penis is indeed a real thing and has explained why men’s genitals can shrink whenever it gets cold…just in time for the Polar Vortex
It’s common knowledge that blokes’ appendages shrink in the cold, but now it’s been given a proper name. Finally – we men have a proper excuse. Winter Penis is here. “It’s not me – it’s the cold, love,” we can now say to our disappointed spouses and lovers as they sigh for the umpteenth time.
A healthcare professional has weighed in on the phenomenon, explaining why men’s genitals recede whenever it gets a bit chilly. Dr Donald Grant, GP and Senior Clinical Advisor at The Independent Pharmacy, has explored the length, breadth and shaft of the Winter Penis.
He said: “With temperatures falling around this time of year, men might start to notice some changes in the size of their genitals.
“Winter penis is the body’s temporary response to the drop in temperatures, which causes the penis and testicles to shrink in size. It occurs due to restricted blood flow, as the body prioritises other, more essential areas to maintain warmth – such as vital organs found in our core. The testicles shrink so they remain as close to the body as possible to stay warm.
“It’s a completely natural reaction to harsh temperatures and can happen to men of all ages.” You hear that? It’s “completely natural” actually.
He also added the cold weather can exacerbate symptoms for anyone who already suffers from erectile dysfunction.
“[Erectile dysfunction] can stem from psychological effects, with not being able to get aroused or in the correct mood a common theme among sufferers,” said Dr Grant. “Cold weather doesn’t help this at all, leading to cold stress or general discomfort, seasonal affective disorder could also play a part, leading to a decrease in libido.”
The doctor added: “Fortunately, winter penis is a completely natural response to the conditions, meaning it’s very rarely a cause for concern. It will resolve on its own without any needed treatment or medical attention and will occur to most men throughout the winter season.
“However, if an individual is experiencing problems associated with blood flow or experiences a long-term change in the size or shape of genitals, it’s always safe to seek more tailored advice from their GP, who can advise on lifestyle habits, treatments and potential causes.”
Anyone dreading Winter Penis will not be ecstatic to hear there is a Polar Vortex on its way to these shores in the coming weeks.