‘You can be disabled and hot – I’m tired of people thinking we don’t like sex’
Adult star and disability advocate GoAskAlex has opened up society’s prejudice against disabled people.
The ostomate spoke out to say she’s tired of people thinking disabled people don’t like sex or that no one will find them sexy.
The OnlyFans star, from British Columbia, Canada, spoke to CBC Radio’s Now or Never hosts Ify Chiwetelu and Trevor Dineen about her life in the public eye as an ostomate in a new episode, “Afraid to Show it Off? Here’s How to Love the Skin You’re In”.
READ MORE: Disabled lingerie model unrecognisable after bodybuilder transformation
“In 2019 I underwent a life-changing surgery – I had a total abdominal colectomy, which means that my entire colon was removed,” she said on the show.
(Image: GoAskAlex)
“I had to have this done because I have ulcerative colitis, which is a form of inflammatory bowel disease, and it led to having an ileostomy, which is a permanent medical device on my abdomen.”
Alex explained: “It’s difficult when so much of your career is in front of a camera and you’re so used to looking at modelling photos of yourself and editing your own videos and seeing your own body from every possible angle, which is already a difficult thing to have to do, to be scrutinising your body all the time.
“But then to see your body drastically change, whether that’s weight gain or a disability… seeing your body change and feeling like you don’t have any control over that is a difficult thing.”
(Image: GoAskAlex)
(Image: GoAskAlex)
The model said that waking up from surgery was “terrifying” but also a “huge relief” as she’d been in pain so long.
However, she also said she was insecure about her new body and had a fear of how she’s be perceived.
“I had a fear that no one would ever find me attractive again – professionally or in my personal life,” she said.
“When you have these surgeries done, they give you a book of pamphlets on what it’s going to be like to have an ostomy, and different medical devices, and there are some things they don’t talk to you about… one of them being sexuality.”
(Image: GoAskAlex)
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She concluded: “It’s an assumption that disabled people are not having sex, or that we wouldn’t want to have sex, or that nobody would want to have sex with us because our bodies are not sexual, and they’re gross or wrong or damaged… and that’s just simply not true.”
The model says she ‘didn’t feel like she was represented’ or had body positive role models growing up, and she wants that to change.
“I want to help create a world where people… have a better relationship to their bodies and can accept themselves as they are,” she said.
“So even though I can fully admit that it’s still a process for me, I think that the act of doing these things and setting this example is also part of what is healing me along that journey.”
