What would occur if world’s web went down as ‘Starmer would deploy the military’
Think you’d be OK without the internet? A cyber-expert thinks otherwise, painting a bleak picture without the world wide web where the army would be sent in almost immediately
You know how you’re always bragging about how well you’d do without the internet? Maybe you’d go off-grid for a bit, or think “there’s a certain romance in going and just living in the woods ,” you say at dinner parties while everyone rolls their eyes.
“No internet, no news, no bloody Epstein Files…just me in a tent. I think I’d actually really enjoy it.” Sure, sure you would.
Maybe you even look into the reality of it for a bit, if you’re brave. But that usually never goes further than a swift google of “communes”, or uninstalling the Instagram app for a couple of hours.
The painful fact of the matter is that we are in an impenetrably symbiotic relationship with the internet with ties that are only getting closer. Since 1990, 0.5% of the global population used the world wide web, a figure that’s now leapt to 68% with an estimated 5.6 billion logging on every day.
It’s now an insidious part of most people in the western world’s lives. You still fancy that camping trip?
An expert recently explained what might happen in a hypothetical situation where all the globe’s servers went down. Speaking to LadBible, a cyber expert explained a rather ugly state of affairs where – without the internet the army would get sent in and Keir Starmer would be beside himself with anxiety.
Here’s how it would go down for the first 48 hours
Day one: 3pm
“Thousands suffer electric shocks and the National grid fails as traffic lights and street lamps go out, causing several car crashes across the world.”
Day one: 5pm
“As blazes rage on across countries and the breakdown of communication between emergency crews wreaks havoc, reaching those requiring assistance becomes increasingly difficult.
“Fortunately for half the globe, Asia was turned away from the Sun and escaped the CME’s impact, whilst Russia endures thanks to its independent communication infrastructure that isolates it from Western networks.
“RusNet maintains vital services for the Kremlin operational, whilst those in China remain asleep, oblivious to the pandemonium unfolding across the West.”
Day two: 6am
“The Prime Minister commands the Army to establish a governmental communication framework, which becomes operational using field telephones and military radios, whilst Morse code emerges once more as the most effective method for transmitting messages.
“Police are now patrolling the streets of major UK cities to curb rampant looting, which has spiralled out of control in the absence of CCTV surveillance.
“Meanwhile, roads are choked with deserted electric cars, with bulldozers being deployed to clear motorways.”
Day two: 9am
“Keir Starmer is now liaising with tech experts to restore the nation’s systems, as mobile phone signals gradually return.
“The internet is a remarkably fragile thing – a critical piece of our economic infrastructure, built on very shaky foundations,” explains Professor Alan Woodward from the University of Surrey.
“He suggests that restoring power to the London Internet Exchange in Telehouse, Docklands, could transform it into a hub for the nation’s cyber traffic.”
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