Daily Star Ashes sledger hits again at Aussies and says ‘bear in mind Crocodile Dundee’
Toby Tarrant has hit back at Aussie Darren Lehmann hammering England fans for not forgiving cheat Steve Smith and says ‘Aussies never move on from anything in their lives’
The Daily Star’s “Mister Sledge” Toby Tarrant has hit back at bellyaching Aussie Darren Lehmann’s criticism of England fans. The former coach won’t stop moaning about the hammering England fans have given Captain Crybaby Steve Smith over Sandpapergate.
He insisted England fans “should be better” and move on from the cheating scandal. But Radio X DJ Toby blasted him a hypocrite.
Our man said: “That’s the trouble with Aussies. They can dish it out but they can’t take it. The Aussies have never moved on from anything in their lives.
“They still wang on about Don Bradman as the greatest cricketer who ever lived – the bloke played about a thousand years ago. Nobody cares mate.”
Toby pulled no punches, even taking aim at one of the country’s proudest exports. He went on: “The Aussies never let anything go – look at the Crocodile Dundee films.
“They should have moved on after the first one but they just couldn’t help themselves could they? They had to go and ruin it. Whereas England? We’ve already moved on from defeat in the first Test and we’re looking forward to spanking them in Brisbane.”
England players were back on the golf course yesterday, their first time out since their Perth pummelling. The Aussie press hailed their hero Travis Head ‘England’s daddy’ after the defeat while taking aim at ‘bozoball’.
The Australian newspaper wrote: “In Affectionate Remembrance of Bazball, which died at the Perth Stadium on 22nd November, 2025, deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances and anyone who had tickets for day three. R.I.P.
“N.B. – The body will be cremated and the ashes put in the first flight to Heathrow.”
It was a nod to the now historic obituary written by Reginald Brooks in The Sporting Times in 1882. It comes as a row rumbles on over whether England should field its first Test failures in a pink-ball warm-up before Brisbane. Brendon McCullum has controversially booked in extra training at the Gabba instead.
The coach said he wants to focus on “making sure that camaraderie is tight and morale doesn’t stop”.
